Sunrise - Hearing own poetry as outsider

A POET AT HIS OWN MEMORIAL: An inspiring story of validation via hearing your work without knowing it’s yours

Last updated: March 26th, 2019

From time to time, I’ve driven 50 miles or so to attend what’s called an “Oral Tradition” poetry gathering in Sebastopol, California. Larry Robinson, a former poet laureate of Sonoma County, invites 30 to 40 people into his living room several times a year for the evening. The only rule is that all the poems recited, as well as the songs that a few people sing, must be known by heart—delivered from memory. If a presenter has brought books or notebooks, they must be closed while he or she shares.

It’s fairly easy to see the rationale behind this. The very phrase, “by heart,” expresses it. The effort to make to make something that deeply one’s own requires LOVE.

The evenings at Larry’s are always memorable. Someone at a gathering may recite three or four poems he or she has spent a considerable amount of time memorizing, and be gifted by heartfelt recitations of several dozen works of wisdom and beauty by Rumi, Hafiz, Rilke, Mary Oliver, Pablo Neruda, and other masters, as well as the inspired poets in the room.

On one particular evening, I had memorized two of my own poems, had finally mastered Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” using guitar and voice, and had spent a fair amount of time learning Neruda’s great piece entitled simply, “Poetry.”

Intuition is always used to determine who is going to recite next. When a poem ends, there’s a moment of appreciative silence. After that, whoever feels like it’s the right time for his or her piece is invited to step in and simply begin. If two people start speaking simultaneously, courtesy and patience create resolution in seconds.

I had stepped in with the first of my own memorized works, a poem itself titled “Memory,” and in the silence of the audience I had felt a deep resonance. It had peaked as the poem reached a kind of dramatic conclusion. I definitely felt the joy of having been heard and appreciated, of having conveyed the poem from my heart into the 40 or so other gathered hearts.

After the brief, harmonious silence following my poem, I was still basking in joy as a blonde lady across the room began reciting. At first, I only dimly heard her, but her words intrigued me, so I pulled myself out of my reverie.

As she continued, I began to marvel at what she was saying!

“I am stunned by the beauty of the ordinary,
so that sometimes the ordinary seems misnamed…”

I listened to the stream of this reciter’s flowing expressiveness:

“No one is famous to the ordinary,
you can’t impress it.
The ordinary is the real wife of every man,
the real husband of every woman.”

River - Hearing own poetry as outsider

Her voice was like a living river—as was the poem itself, which in fact was, I remembered, titled “The River of Ordinary Moments.” This poet had honed in on some strong subject-matter.

I found the lines exquisite. The only problem I had while listening was that I was beginning to get a little jealous of the poet, and had to keep fighting off that distraction.

After awhile, my listening became one stream and my internal self-talk, a parallel one: “Oooh, that was beautiful. I think I can write that well sometimes, though. I think…,” and, “I wonder who wrote this?” Part of me was becoming impatient to learn the name of this poet. I wanted to be able to find more of his or her work!

The piece seemed to go on for quite awhile. When at last it ended, there was once again a deep, appreciative silence in the room. The speaker had done a perfect job of putting the poem across. The whole piece now resonated in a lovely way inside me. At the same time I remained slightly distracted, waiting for the poet’s name. Finally, the blonde lady announced, “That poem was by Max.”

What?” I thought, and said aloud. “Are you sure?” Could I have written this and forgotten? Could I really have been jealous of myself?

“Yes,” said the lady, whose name I learned was Kay. “I found it on the PoemHunter website, where you’ve saved a lot of your poems.”

Everyone had a good laugh! Mine was surely the heartiest, replete with all the ironies of the situation that I alone was privy to. When I got home, I looked up the poem. Indeed, I had written it.

I had been placed in the situation of hearing my own piece of work with complete objectivity—utterly unaware who had penned it, until that last moment.

Poems from my pen have met, over the years, with acceptance, publication, and sometimes a certain amount of acclamation. At other times, however, even what I’ve felt to be my best work has fallen on deaf ears. Sharing publicly has often been an ordeal. My “poet’s ego” has often had a hard time.

But that night—ah, that night, it was as if a little play-within-a-play had been arranged by the unseen, to show me: “Hey, boy, you’re ok!”

Note: Larry Robinson, mentioned above, maintains an extraordinary poem-a-day email list which includes poems from the oral tradition evenings, as well as from many additional sources. To receive these daily poems, coming straight from the hearts of some past or present poets, send an email to lrobpoet@sonic.net.

Read “The River of Ordinary Moments” here, and a poem inspired by the aforementioned oral tradition evenings, entitled “On Memorizing a Poem,” here.


image 1: shellorz (Creative Commons BY NC-SA)

image 2: MN Photos (Creative Commons BY NC-ND)

  1. Max: You will forgive my wry take here, but as a once-manifest and now latent poet, I thank the Muses that you heard your forgotten song in happiness not in horror. In a moment of real weakness, while doing a poetry workshop in Albany, New York, under a fairly good poet, I was persuaded to go to a coffeehouse and read some of my works. Now I had no illusions; they were good poems, but who knows what a random audience in a bohemian part of town will think about anything. Well, I was first up, read my stuff well and saw a greater vacuum on the faces in the crowd than most spacemen see in the exosphere. That taught me that my work, if it’s to be read at all, should voiced by others, as yours has been here. If poets, as Shelley said, are the unacknowledged legislators of the world, then, perhaps, it’s for those who feel the laws of their verse to say yea or nay. Congratulations on on the gift of an epiphany from an accidental source.

  2. Dennis, maybe if Kay read one of yours, you would start writing again. Well, none of my business why latent, maybe you’re just awaiting new inspiration. HOWEVER: your articulate comment is practically another epiphany for me, I can feel my heart beating, for lengthy, articulate comments under a MINDFUL WORD piece are as rare as…well, people do Facebook SHARES from here, but they don’t comment much!

  3. On particularly trying days, when I can’t for the life of me figure out what is bothering me…I begin a return to calm with a quick visit to some favorite moment of my life! How wonderful it must have been Max to outdo the feeling of pleased which comes per your own sounds as they roll over the familiar curves of your own words at your own speed, to your own rhythm. This story of yours from 2013, brought forth a genuine mirth from my within my own heart…for the simple realization that sharing anything that’d made your own heart smile, for having described a uniquely personal aspect of yourself, is only half the feeling that was available! The other half available only for the delivery of your own words by another appreciative soul. Truly, a remarkably humbling moment returned as the gift, meant only for you!
    Thank you for sharing this when you have…or did, as I for one was the next lucky person it would touch! By the way…For the Dennis you addressed prior to the Dennis addressing you now…a latent “work” is already formed, albeit within the mind of its creator. This does not diminish the work…it does however, imply that unless affixed as the reality it was meant to capture, there is a chance it may not be recognized as the ready work of art by its creator, Which is another example of how doing our best, isn’t something you’d allow to no other!

  4. Dear Dennis,
    I really “get” what you write: “:having described a uniquely personal aspect of yourself, is only half the feeling that was available! The other half available only for the delivery of your own words by another appreciative soul. Truly, a remarkably humbling moment returned as the gift, meant only for you!”

    I recently experienced another manifestation of precisely the phenomenon you have pinpointed. In another Mindful Word essay, I had described a life-changing healing experience I had with Ram Dass in Oklahoma City, OK, many years ago. Prior to my appointment to see Ram Dass at his motel, the morning after his talk at the Civic Auditorium – I”d flown in for this visit – I had walked the downtown streets of the city passing time, wondering if my visiting this man would help me (it did!). The streets appeared to be completely festooned with metal scaffolds, in a state of rebuilding…an irony that was lost on me until later that day, when I realized that **I** too had been “rebuilt”! Well, recently, years after that other 2013 article, I received an email from a resident of Oklahoma City who had read my article and is a spiritual seeker who had moved there two years before and had felt “something important had happened” on those streets, which he also often walks. We “met” on those scaffolded streets, completely outside of time, in the Spirit, forty + years after I had walked them and 5 years since the article had appeared…our meeting was so total, it was as you describe…I felt a “miracle” aspect of this medium of written expression, to completely transcend time and space and bring two souls into a kind of oneness that is quite profound! I was indeed “only half” of the piece. So rich, our Creation can be!

    I’m still looking at y our last paragraph. I might need a little more explication of that.

    Nice to connect again with you, too, Dennis!

    (here’s the link to that other article…
    https://themindfulword.org/2013/happy-re-birthday-max-reif/

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