“Renunciation” is a word associated with Buddhist monks that often conjures a mental image of men with shaved heads, clad in orange, walking silently in a line.
We don’t tend to think of renunciation as a daily practice for ordinary mindfulness practitioners to implement in their lives. And that’s a shame, because I’d argue that it’s an accessible practice anyone can use to eliminate suffering, have fewer problems and handle life maturely.
If you practice mindfulness, whether it’s secular or Buddhist, you’re already benefitting from your practice to the extent that you’re able to renounce and let go of the mental obsessions, cravings, aversions and self-focused ideas that naturally arise in every human being’s mind.
You may have come to the practice because you’ve recognized that your mind causes you to suffer, and you want to develop the ability to be in touch with the present moment—flawed as it is—and let go of anxious rumination and daydreaming. So when you practice mindfulness, you’re practicing renunciation and feel better for it.
Renunciation is often misunderstood
It’s a misperception that renunciation is about giving up what brings us pleasure because pleasure is inherently bad, for mysterious reasons. Why would anyone become a monastic or buy into the Buddha’s teachings with such a self-punishing core message?
Renunciation actually is about recognizing what causes suffering or harm, and making a conscious choice to disengage, give up and stop clinging to those ways of thinking and being for your own peace of mind and well-being. Renunciation can sometimes involve saying “no” to sensual pleasures that are harmful to indulge in or detrimental to your state of mind—or, also, for the simple purpose of weakening desire. At it’s core, though, renunciation has more to do with acceptance, reducing your self-focus and relinquishing your desire for control than it does with denying yourself pleasure.
The role of the Noble Truths
The Buddha’s teachings of the Four Noble Truths, his guide to ending suffering (dukkha, which also translates to dissatisfaction or stress), shed light on how a renunciation practice is implemented.
Start with the first truth
The Buddha’s first noble truth is, “There is suffering. Suffering should be understood. Suffering has been understood.”
Key to renunciation is to first recognize the presence of suffering, which is also experienced as dissatisfaction and stress. Suffering tends to arise with:
- Sticky thoughts about wanting things to be different than how they are
- Sensations of stress or emptiness in the body
- Feelings of frustration, sadness, emptiness, anxiety or general negativity
When you’ve noticed suffering, observe the mind and body with the intention of deepening your understanding of the nature of suffering, without judgment or attempts to change anything. Just watch.
The crux of the Buddha’s thesis is that while life is adverse and painful, activity in the mind is responsible for most negative feelings we experience on a day-to-day basis, and suffering is exacerbated by the tendency to blame these feelings on outside forces or perceived deficiencies. We have to do the work of observing to find out where the true cause of our suffering lies at any given moment.
People often feel horrible and beat themselves up for their flaws and weaknesses. Odds are, ruminating in this way is much more of a barrier to living a good life than the perceived inadequacies that the rumination focuses on.
A person who suffers from a pattern of self-criticism won’t solve their problems by becoming “good enough,” because there is really no such thing to a mind that’s been conditioned to find fault. But if the true source of suffering is identified as occurring within the mind, as a direct result of clinging to the desire to somehow become “good enough,” an opportunity to decondition the mind and create new patterns becomes available.
The importance of the second truth
The second noble truth is, “There is the origin of suffering, which is attachment to desire. Desire should be let go of. Desire has been let go of.”
Having observed that clinging to wanting things to be different than how they are is the mental process that underlies dissatisfaction and suffering, one can then understand that stopping this clinging is the way to stop suffering. This is empowering, as we know that we have much more control over our minds than we do over many of the circumstances that challenge us.
A real-life example
People playing their music out loud on the bus is something that used to really rile me up. When practicing observing the mind in that state, I noticed a steady stream of irritated thoughts such as, “That is so impolite. I hate it when people play their terrible music in a confined space; it’s so inconsiderate. What an asshole! When is he getting off the bus?”
However, while observing these thoughts from the perspective of mindful awareness, I first realized what an overreaction all that visceral anger and the stream of insults was to simply having to hear unpleasant music for a while—especially when it can’t play loudly enough from a phone speaker to cause harm.
Secondly, I noticed that suffering arose as a consequence of those angry, self-righteous thoughts, rather than arising from the music itself. Visceral, unpleasant feelings in the body can literally rise in intensity as an angry train of thought is followed. When I stopped following my own angry thoughts and put attention on bodily sensations instead, the physical discomfort and stress abated, even though the music was still playing.
Thus, an egoistic attitude and a desire to control the situation were renounced. When we settle into acceptance that it is the way it is, peace can arise.
You don’t have to renounce chocolate or TV
Some forms of clinging are much more psychologically complex and persistent to tackle, but the best way to practice renunciation is by working with whatever suffering is present. Observe the minutiae of what is happening in the mind and body, paying careful attention to any clinging and the affect it has. Start letting go of any clinging that underlies suffering, dissatisfaction and discontent by staying with the sensation of difficult emotions in the body until it dissipates. As you do so, try not to follow your thoughts, and ignore any mental narratives in which clinging can manifest.
You’ll find that you don’t need to renounce chocolate or watching television to experience the tangible benefits of renunciation. By following the method outlined in the Buddha’s Four Noble Truths, you’ll practice relinquishing the clinging that has a detrimental effect on your life—and be happier and calmer for it.
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