I’m no expert on living a healthy life—don’t look in the kitchen cupboard, there’s liable to be an avalanche of cookies, chips and candy—but I do know quite a bit about getting through difficult days.
When you live with depression and anxiety, you need to develop a few tricks and techniques over the years to be able to find some happiness. You wouldn’t be able to survive otherwise.
My approach to happiness can be summarized in three words: eat, play, love. Here are my tips for incorporating these three things into your daily life.
Tip 1: Have an awesome breakfast
Most days, I wake up in a state of anxiety and depression. It’s not an easy way to start the day. Just getting out of bed is the first hurdle I have to overcome. It can take me a couple of hours.
One of the best ways I can motivate myself to get out of bed is by looking forward to a good breakfast—not the kind of breakfast I should be eating to offset all of the cookies, chips, and candy. Oatmeal is simply not going to get me into the kitchen if I’m having a really hard morning. I’ve discovered I can persuade myself to get my feet on the floor if I know bacon and eggs are in my immediate future.
I know what you’re thinking: that isn’t a healthy breakfast. I agree. Oatmeal would be better, and many days I do eat oatmeal for breakfast. But, let’s face it: food is a source of pleasure in life, and pleasure is difficult to come by when you’re lying under a blanket of depression.
I know the other thing you’re thinking: a healthy diet is important for managing depression. I agree with that, too. I also believe in moderation.
Now, one person’s moderation is another person’s excess. I’ve decided to err on the side of eating what I enjoy. Oatmeal has a lot of fibre, but bacon has the magic power to get me up when I’m in the middle of an existential crisis. So do ice cream and chocolate bars, but I don’t have any of those until after lunch.
Tip 2: Do things you enjoy
It’s inevitable in life: there’s stuff we have to do that we really don’t want to. The difficult thing about depression is that almost everything becomes something you don’t want to do.
So how do you get through the day? You hold on tight to the few things that you are still able to enjoy. No matter how deep my depression has been, or how high my anxiety has tossed me, there are a few things I can always rely on to bring me at least a little bit of happiness.
As I’ve already made clear, I love food and having a fun snack or a good meal can completely change the trajectory of my day. Two other things I can rely on are funny YouTube videos and dancing. Listening to my favourite songs on my iPhone and dancing in my bedroom or while I do the dishes has saved me on many difficult days. It just taps into a different part of my brain.
When it comes to YouTube videos, I find there’s a combination of three factors that makes for an effective viewing list to lift my mood:
- Videos on a topic I’m interested in;
- Videos that are entertaining and make me laugh; and
- Videos that feature other people laughing.
For me, it’s mostly videos of funny people doing or watching things I’m passionate about, like trying food or watching K-pop content. This cheers me up because it makes me feel less alone: there are other people out there who like the things I like. The added benefit is that watching them enjoy themselves and laugh makes me laugh.
If you want to feel happy, watch videos of other people laughing. It can be more contagious than you think.
Tip 3: Go for a walk with a friend
For many years, I lived alone, and there was no one to be accountable to if I didn’t go outside all day. Now that I’m living with a friend, we try to go out for a walk every evening. We do it for ourselves, but also, I’m doing it for her benefit and she’s doing it for mine. We motivate each other, and the walks do a world of good for us both.
There’s no substitute for spending a bit of time outside, and there’s also no substitute for being around people who love you.
Going for a walk is light exercise and gives you time in the fresh air. That alone helps boost your mood. If you go with a friend, however, you have the added benefit of some social interaction with someone you care about, and who cares about you.
One of the hardest things for me to believe when the depression is bad is that other people genuinely care about me. Frequently, I’m only able to believe this when I am in their physical company and can feel their positive energy towards me. I may have managed to get out of bed, have my good breakfast, dance to a few songs and watch some funny YouTube videos, but if I spend all day inside and alone, it won’t be a very good day for me.
There’s no substitute for spending a bit of time outside, and there’s also no substitute for being around people who love you. When you’re struggling to love yourself, you need that time even more.
Happiness is food, fun and friends
My techniques aren’t enough for me to avoid depression and anxiety, but they are enough to get me through the day. They’ve gotten me this far. Try to eat healthily but eat what you enjoy. Watch videos that make you laugh. Spend time with the people who mean the most to you.
We’re all participating in the human quest for happiness. It’s ultimately a path we walk alone, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy some pleasure, fun and distraction together along the way.
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image 1 KleeAlee from Pixabay 2 image by Tymon Oziemblewski from Pixabay 3 image by 👀 Mabel Amber, who will one day from Pixabay
