Acceptance doesn’t mean simply thinking you’ve accepted your circumstances; it’s a full mind-body experience. The root of human suffering is arguing with reality. “How could this be?” we ask ourselves, “Why am I the unluckiest person in the world?”
We’ve all been there. Tragedy strikes, whether it’s the loss of a loved one, an enormous opportunity lost or a tumultuous breakup. Life tumbles us through a rollercoaster of emotions. However, the second we bring acceptance into our reality, suffering ceases to exist. Life’s most extraordinary insights are often the simplest to digest. It’s easy to conceptualize, yet almost impossible to practice.
Accepting the present moment means giving up control. The ego no longer has the power it once it had. It’s an admittance that you aren’t the most powerful being in the universe.
Why practicing acceptance is difficult
It’s easy for me to write these words, “Just accept everything and it will be OK,” but I know how challenging it can be when life turns upside down. Your gut instinct is to remove yourself, to stop feeling ‘bad’ emotions. That’s where most get it wrong.
Negative emotions are only labelled ‘negative’ in the mind. ‘Positive’ would not exist without its counterpart. Yin and Yang. The sorrow felt today is the happiness felt tomorrow.
Acceptance means to sit with these emotions, to face your deepest being and be honest with your soul. Observing these intense emotions is how they find their own release.
Attachment occurs when we try to run away from them. To be afraid of the negative is to shun happiness. Bottling up these emotions only results in an eternal battle within the mind.
The answer? Accept. Accept everything. Observe any emotion that comes; sit with them, know them so well that you can taste them. The moment that acceptance is truly felt, throughout the mind and body, is when true freedom occurs.
When internal conflict with reality disappears, all that is left is a pure expression of reality. The present moment. The rich, everlasting peace that is available to all is experienced. As hard as it may be to practice acceptance, there is no other choice.
My journey to acceptance
Two years ago, I was lost. I was broke, in debt and was facing the loss of my career. I had pictured myself to be a certain person, and the facade was falling apart. I didn’t accept it right away. I kept picking up the mask and putting it on, at any chance I could. Life didn’t care.
One by one, all my doors had been closed. It was do-or-die in that moment. I had to accept and move on, or harbour these emotions for eternity. Wondering what could have been and why I must live this way, and how incredibly unfair life seemed, I felt as if I was the punchline to a joke told by the universe. I had fought for so long that I was living as an outline of myself. I wasn’t me anymore, I was trying to pigeonhole my identity that didn’t exist into my shadow. I was a living embodiment of struggling with reality.
I didn’t want to accept that I had no money and had to leave my previous life behind. But it didn’t matter, acceptance was the only path left.
It didn’t occur instantly; I took it day by day. I sat with my emotions, even though the pain was unbearable at times. I realized that the past was done and that the present moment was all there ever would be. The moment I was in pure acceptance was the moment I could experience reality as it was.
The previous me, the old me, was dead. I won’t ever be that person again. I’m a different person than I was then. I found happiness, here, now. Fulfillment that wasn’t based on who was in my bed or what was in my bank account. Life had pushed me against a wall, and had given me no other option. All I had to do was accept.
Start accepting today
We can start by accepting where we are, right now; instead of creating more conflict on top of already existing struggles, we can be at ease with our pain. Even if it’s just for a split second, it can be all we need to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It may take time to wade through all the bottled-up emotions. That’s the path to freedom.
The only thing that matters is that we try, every day, to accept a little more. To experience our emotions without looking away. A year can pass, and you’ll be shocked at how quickly life can change when acceptance is achieved.
Meditation is a great way to shift from thinking we understand to having a deep mind-body agreement. Thought cannot accept thought. It must be felt through time and space, it’s almost a physical feeling. On the other side of internal struggle is freedom. The present moment is available in every instance of waking life. It only needs to be realized to be experienced. Arguing with reality is what keeps us from feeling peace.
Start small. Practice acceptance for a second, if that’s all you can bear. Be with the emotions you’ve been hiding from, for a brief instance. Growth requires courage and bravery.
Acceptance is a journey
The process can’t be fast-forwarded. Letting go is not an instantaneous experience. Acceptance takes courage, effort and time; it is a lifelong practice. Know that the deepest sorrows enable us to reach the highest joys.
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image 1 Image by John Hain from Pixabay 2 Image by intographics from Pixabay 3 Image by Omni Matryx from Pixabay 4 Image by Sasin Tipchai from Pixabay
