We all know about self-esteem. It’s something that is universally understood, but perhaps is put in the backseat, as far as priorities go. Let’s put out a definition of self-esteem before we continue. In psychology, the term is described as the emotional and cognitive evaluation of our own worth.
Self-esteem is literally putting a value on yourself towards the world. However, it can get tricky. Somebody who is very skilled and talented can have low self-esteem, and vice versa. It’s not a measurement of one’s abilities, it is a measurement of how one thinks of themselves.
Developing self-esteem
How one builds their self-esteem in life is a complex issue, and cannot be narrowed down very easily. As to where it begins to develop, you can start to look at someone’s childhood. When we are younger, our relationship with our parents and the experiences we have with them can have a major negative or positive impact on us as human beings.
If a child is listened to, respected, and given affection and attention, and they also have their achievements acknowledged and celebrated, they will have a great foundation on which to build their self-esteem. On the flip side, a child who is criticized, abused in any way, rejected or unsupported will obviously have major issues with valuing themselves as they grow up.
As a child grows up and begins to go to school, friendships and relationships also start to affect how much they value themselves. Having close friendships and being in love with someone who accepts you and validates you are ways that will plainly show you that you have value in the world.
Some common issues during the adolescent stage that can majorly impact one’s self-esteem include:
Poor body image – Many teenagers experience being judged and bullied for their physical appearance.
Social comparison with others – It’s inevitable for teens to compare themselves to their peers and base their value on those comparisons.
Peer pressure – Feeling forced to do things because other peers are can make one question who they really are.
Rejection – Teenagers tend to be brutally honest. If someone experiences rejection from a social group or someone they are interested in romantically, this can have severe consequences.
The effects of high or low self-esteem
Having low self-esteem can cause all sorts of problems for somebody as they develop into an adult. Having the sinking feeling that you are less than the people surrounding you can have detrimental effects.
More specifically, low self-esteem can cause:
- Depression, anxiety, stress and poor health habits
- Complicated issues with family, friends and romantic relationships
- Resentment towards others and the self
- A major fear of failure
- Excessive worry and anxiety
- Alcohol/substance abuse
Living with high self-esteem has many benefits, not only emotionally, but physically as well. People with high self-esteem often experience:
- Peace of mind
- The ability to defend themselves and their beliefs
- Confidence in their future
- Knowledge of the value in themselves and their relationships
- Self-acceptance
- The ability to take risks
Clearly, there is a stark contrast between the two. The question is, what can you do if you are on the low self-esteem side?
Overcoming low self-esteem
The first thing that must be acknowledged about low self-esteem is that it is in no way a fact. It is not a fact that you are not as valuable as others in this world, your mind has just convinced you of that. We as humans are all capable of being incredible, and you are no different.
Make the important realization that your thinking mind is the catalyst for your low self-esteem. Start to include some positive reinforcement and affirmation in your life. This can be done in many ways, such as these:
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- Writing down positive affirmations about yourself each morning.
- Reflecting on what you are grateful for throughout the day.
- Writing out your negative thoughts, as sometimes seeing them on paper can help you break through them.
- Telling yourself that you love yourself, even if you don’t mean it at the time.
Low self-esteem can cause many people to stop taking care of themselves. Take a look at your health: What do you eat? Do you exercise? Is there anything you genuinely enjoy doing that you haven’t done recently?
Life can get so busy and hectic that we often get caught up in it and forget to take care of ourselves. Starting to eat healthily and exercise more often can have a major positive impact on how you feel about yourself and your thinking. Naturally, if you take better care of yourself, then you will think better of yourself!
Reach out
Finally, and most importantly, have people to reach out to. It is a terrible habit to keep things to yourself and not share your struggles with anyone. One of the simplest ways to improve your mental health is to be transparent with somebody about how you are feeling. Finding someone you trust or going to a professional therapist can work wonders when it comes to how you view yourself.
There is good in every single one of us, it is undeniable. The trick is that sometimes you need to dig down deep and put in some work to find the good and tangibly feel it. Do yourself a favour and begin to look at your self-esteem; if it seems low, there are very simple but effective things you can do to flip it. It’s never too late.
You can start to value yourself more this very second, if you choose to do so.
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