Mindful Awareness

What do I want to say?

I have nothing to say.

What is here now to say?

Life as a human being.

Is.

Where to start?

Start here.

The five senses, plus emotions, plus thoughts. Is that all there is?

At our human level, we experience the five senses, thoughts and feelings.

Is there more?

Perhaps the senses, thoughts and feelings are enough, or too much.

But there is something else, something more.

I can’t exactly say what that is; I don’t exactly know.

There is no more to say.

What I say is what I think.

Sharing my thoughts.

But what if I sit here and don’t share my thoughts?

What then?

What is here that is not thought?

Nothing?

But it isn’t a nothing.

I can’t say what it is; I can’t explain; I don’t know.

Thought doesn’t know. Thought thinks, “I don’t know.”

Now what?

Bless me, bless you for blessing me. Bless us all.

Trying and not trying. To understand.

Do, should, we try or not try.

Is there a space between trying and not trying?

I’m trying. I’m trying to not try. I don’t want to try and I don’t want to not try.

So I’ll just be. In the space of trying and not trying.

Now I’m trying to be in the space of trying and not trying.

I don’t want to do that. That’s not it. That’s not it. Trying or not trying isn’t it.

So I’m no longer trying and I’m also no longer trying not to try. I’m not going to even try to be in the space, the very fine line, of trying and not trying. Of knowing and not knowing.

I’m not doing anything.

So now I try to find that place of not doing anything. I’m trying again.

The mind, this mind, can’t help itself.

This mind wants something; it wants a lot. Recognition, to be special, a success somehow, anyhow. To be validated, known, held up, approved of, respected, loved.

It’s the mind wanting what it thinks is best for it.

So I see it and say, “let it go.”

But it’s only the mind again.

There is no escape from the activity of the mind.

Who watches this?

Who or what is aware?

Awareness?

Aware of thought.

Aware of awareness.

Is that more mind or something else?

Is awareness beyond mind or is it mind?

Is mind separate from awareness?

Mind is within an awareness.

Mind is aware of awareness and awareness is aware of mind. They know one another.

Questions are asked by the mind.

Awareness has no questions, no thought.

Is there only mind becoming aware of awareness, or is it that there is only awareness and it is aware of thought?

Can mind and awareness be separated?

Mind seems to operate within awareness.

The furthest I can go is not knowing.

To accept and be with, “I don’t know.”

I can think about it and ask questions or not.

There are no answers for the mind that are beyond the mind.

The mind cannot think outside of itself.

The mind is contained, trapped in mind.

The mind is held in mind.

I hold my thoughts in mind and mind produces my thoughts.

I don’t even know if they are my thoughts. I don’t know if there is a me, as perhaps the “me” identity is created by thought.

There are thoughts happening. Mind is aware of thoughts.

Thoughts occurring in the mind within awareness, is the right answer.

What I sense outside of mind is not thought. A thought thinks about awareness.

Awareness doesn’t think. There is only mind thinking about awareness. And awareness aware.

There is something other than thought, but I can’t think about it because that is going back to more thought.

Awareness doesn’t, can’t, think.

And if I don’t think about it, is awareness there? Is it here? How can I know?

Who wants to understand?

Thought wants to understand.

Awareness either doesn’t want to understand, already understands or doesn’t have the concept of understanding because the concept of understanding is created by thought.

Understanding is limited.

So understanding is not available for awareness and awareness is something different to mind activity.

Can mind activity and awareness be separated, or are they separated only in thought?

Thoughts happen.

Thoughts create separation.

Awareness just is.

Emotions are felt and interpreted by thought.

Physical sensations, the five senses, are experienced, decoded and thought about.

Thought thinks about what happens, and makes sense of our experiences, or at least tries to.

Without thought, who are we?

I can’t think about awareness without thought.

I need thought to think about it, to try to know it, make sense of it, understand it.

I can’t know awareness beyond thought.

And I will never understand or know what is unknowable.

Awareness, the present moment, now.

What I experience right now, in this moment, is all there ever is, was, or is going to be.

Thought is unconditional; thoughts are unrestricted, and no thought is banned.

Thoughts occur, they come and go. We can think anything and we form opinions, like or dislike and judge them. Some thoughts are accepted, welcomed, and approved of, and some not.

Awareness is experienced but not understood.

Awareness is unknowable.


image: Double exposure photo concept via Shutterstock