You know those scenes in movies where the main character suddenly explodes and stands up for themselves in a heroic, courageous and awe-inspiring way?
Yeah, I’m not sure I’ve ever done that (besides in silky, half-hearted daydreams),
After a confrontation, do you suddenly remember everything you wish you’d said, the words flying back to you like a flock of hungry birds?
Well, you’re in good company then!
For us sensitive souls, it’s not uncommon to shut down completely during confrontations, arguments or conflicts. We can all-too-easily become like a deer in headlights, standing there, wide-eyed, stupefied and silent.
Silent—that’s the part that really hurts.
The pain of being quiet drips deeply inside, like a dreadful rain pitter-pattering on the rooftops of our hearts. Drip drop, we didn’t speak our truths. Drip drop, we’re scared to say anything now. Drip drop, we’re starting to lose ourselves.
Eek! This quickly becomes a highly destructive and strikingly unhealthy way to live. If we don’t speak our truths often, with boldness and enthusiasm, life as we know it can start to take on a wonky shape—one that doesn’t remotely reflect our wishes.
Worse, we may start to suffer from sore throats, neck pain, dizzy spells, a constant feeling of a lump in the throat, anxiety, panic attacks, heart palpitations—all possible physical manifestations of our beautiful, but severely suppressed voices.
What can we do about it? How can we take our power back and speak up?
I promise I won’t tell you to “simply speak up,” or “get some guts” as these statements are about as helpful as a weak cup of coffee on a busy Monday morning.
But, here’s a few pointers I’ve found to be amazing life-rafts, each one helping me float towards a bolder, healthier life. And, I hope they do the same for you.
Listen within
Yes! We can’t speak our truths if we don’t know our truths. Focusing inside to (lovingly) befriend ourselves and getting to know every part of our perfectly imperfect souls is vital. It can actually be quite beautiful and fun.
Be curious, be creative, ask yourself all kinds of questions, and take a true interest in what makes you tick.
But most importantly: listen, listen, listen to the answers. Listen, listen, listen to that little voice within—even if it’s just a whisper. Feed your gorgeous voice and let it grow, developing into a hum, then murmur, then a squeal, then a full-blown no-holds-barred scream.
Trust and value our intuition
You know those feelings or instant impressions we get—a slight twinge in our guts, a vague sense of danger in the pit of our abdomen, or a pulsating in our temples?
My oh my, we’re quick to dismiss them.
But, my oh my, those feelings are invaluable!
Our wonderfully wise inner selves are trying desperately to sprinkle information into our lives. Normally, we find these messages annoying and bat them away as soon as possible. I mean it’s “crazy” to follow an intuitive feeling, right?
Wrong!
It would only be crazy not to catch these sacred sprinkles on our tongues and experience their deliciousness. Let us then be more open to tasting the sweetness of the vast knowledge within.
Are we in relationships with people who hear us out?
In the past, it seemed wherever I went, jealous, controlling and manipulative people flocked to me like bees to honey. They slapped me down, criticized me, and left me no room to speak up.
Walking away from toxic relationships is by-far the most empowering (and difficult) thing I have ever done.
The lesson is beautiful and will never be forgotten: there is a BIG difference between normal conflict and toxicity. If we are in relationships with people who are constantly undermining us, we will never feel safe to speak our minds, hearts or souls.
Journaling
So, maybe it sounds a bit cliche, but writing is an incredibly powerful tool to nurture our voices. Pick out a gorgeous diary, put on some music (if you wish) and write, write, write. Don’t think, just feel. Don’t edit. Mercilessly, pour your heavy heart onto the page. Lather, rinse and repeat as often as you like.
But, no matter what we do, let’s vow to remember one thing: learning to speak up takes place within the sacred space of our juicy hearts.
So, yes, here’s to speaking up, but more than anything else, here’s to listening to our luscious hearts and wisely intuitive inner voices.
[su_panel background=”#f2f2f2″ color=”#000000″ border=”0px none #ffffff” shadow=”0px 0px 0px #ffffff”]by Sarah Harvey
