For many, the holiday season is a complicated time. Increased pressures to have a magical experience, family stress, grief and physical illness can interfere with holiday expectations and make this time of the year difficult.
However, with the right preparation, the holidays can be a time of rest and renewal, even for those moving through pain. Here are seven ways you can mitigate pain by entering the holidays mindfully.
Slow down
Many people have a paradoxical view of the holidays. Their schedule speeds up, but they often think they’ll have more time to rest and celebrate. Like time off from school and vacations to the beach, the holidays go by quickly and often involve more work than rest.
The first step to practicing mindfulness over the holidays is to slow down, physically and mentally. Slowing down can help prevent physical and mental depletion and help you manage any pain you’re experiencing.
Examine your expectations
The holiday season is a time of exceedingly high expectations. A sense of urgency and anticipation marks this part of the year. When people feel like they must have a good time, it can be challenging for them to relax and make the holidays their own.
While it’s good to look forward to the future, having unrealistic expectations about the holiday season can lead to feelings of disappointment if the celebrations don’t live up to your imagination. Take some time to consider your expectations for the holidays, and think about whether they’re realistic.
See the magic around you
The way you think about your life will affect your experience of living. Romanticizing your life can help you reframe your experiences with positivity, joy and hopefulness. To fully appreciate your life, you have to be present with your body and surroundings.
Realistic expectations don’t have to be boring or unexciting. Returning to the present can help reduce mental and physical pain, consequently bringing balance to your inner world and reminding you of the beauty that surrounds you.
It’s OK to have a heavy season, especially if you’re experiencing deep mental or physical pain, but it’s not healthy to stay there forever. Practice noticing and appreciating the present so that you have healthy mental habits to carry you through hard times.
Focus on the present
There are many different ways you can practice focusing on the present moment, including journaling, expressing gratitude and doing breathing exercises. Some of the most valuable ways to be present can be integrated into simple everyday activities, though.
Returning to the present may initially be painful, but it’ll help you work through difficult emotions and find healing. Running from pain never brings healing!
Here are three specific ways you can slow down and refocus on the present during the holidays:
Practice mindful eating
The holidays are traditionally celebrated with special food, including family feasts and sweet treats. Unfortunately, indulging over the holidays is often accompanied by feelings of guilt and shame. In addition, many kinds of pain come from inflammation in the body, and a poor diet can increase these inflammation levels.
To manage pain over the holidays, practice being completely present during meals. Cut out distractions like screens, books and work, and just focus on eating and being with others during mealtimes. Giving your food attention will increase your enjoyment of each meal and help you regulate what’s going into your body.
Shop intentionally
While the holiday season is truly not about gift-giving, it can sometimes feel like it. Giving gifts to loved ones should be an enjoyable part of this time of year, not a stressful and finance-straining obligation. Plan ahead and choose low-cost options to reduce stress levels, which will only aggravate physical and mental pain.
Shopping is much more manageable if it’s done in small chunks with someone who supports you and your choices. Reducing your expectations for your shopping experiences will lead to more holiday joy and a restful spirit that isn’t harried and stressed about gift-giving.
Listen actively
Another way to be present over the holidays is to listen actively. During busy times of the year, it’s easy to tune others out and replay to-do lists and personal concerns inside your head. This holiday season, practice writing down your lists and thoughts once and then focusing on the people in front of you.
Listening to others doesn’t mean you have to give them advice or allow them to burden you with their own pain. Healthy active listening builds intimacy, creates space for trust and shows love for others at a deep level.
Restate what others say to make sure you understand them and ask questions that show you care. Active listening is one of the best ways to engage in the moment, invest in your community and combat loneliness.
Invest in peace
Peace of mind doesn’t come naturally during the holidays. It’s something you must cultivate with personal choices, especially when you’re experiencing grief or physical pain. Because the holidays are so busy, it’s easy to neglect self-care and lose any sense of peace during this season.
A major step towards choosing peace is realizing you’re only responsible for your own health and emotions—you can’t control the feelings and reactions of those around you. Investing in self-care is essential to cultivating a sense of inner peace over the holiday season.
Prioritize physical care
Neglecting your physical needs will aggravate every kind of pain. It’s essential that you maintain healthy sleep habits, good nutrition, an adequate water intake and your fitness routines over the holidays. While your schedule doesn’t have to look exactly the same as it does during the rest of the year, it’s not a good idea to cut care routines out of your life until you’re less busy.
Caring for your body reduces and prevents pain, and it also positively impacts mental and emotional health. Over the winter, many individuals experience seasonal depression, caused partially by dark weather and reduced physical activity levels. Taking vitamin D, practicing light therapy and talking to a counsellor can help you work against seasonal depression.
Invest in your emotional well-being
Aside from physical care, it’s also important to practice self-care for your soul. Find a healthy balance between alone time and spending time with friends and family, and ensure you have time for journaling, music therapy or any other activities that help you process and wind down.
Listen to yourself and allow yourself space to process any thoughts and emotions that are bothering you. Don’t pressure yourself to “be happy” during this season. On the other hand, it’s OK to experience moments of joy, even if you’re carrying grief. If you’re lonely, reach out and deliberately spend more quality time with others.
Being kind to yourself is one of the best ways you can cultivate peace, but kindness is different from being permissive. Emotions need space to move through you, yet it’s not healthy to encourage negative feelings to stay. Emotional processing is easier when you observe your emotions, rather than react to them.
Having a bittersweet holiday
If you’re in a season of pain, you may not feel like celebrating the holidays. Nonetheless, you can still find joy in this season by engaging in each moment and appreciating the good things that are present in your life.
Follow the seven suggestions above to slow down, focus on the present and invest in peace during this season. Mindfulness can help you manage hurt and make this year your own. This year, be kind to yourself and stay hopeful about what the holiday season can bring.
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