I’m an awful cook. I’m one of those people who mix up the terms “teaspoons” and “tablespoons” on practically every recipe. I’m not particularly beautiful—being usually described as “the funny one.” I don’t understand football, it took me until age 22 to be considered an academic success, I shatter mirrors when I sing and I can’t figure out for the life of me when you use “effect” versus “affect.” When it comes to relationships, I seem to be a pretty good luck charm! By that I mean I’m the girl you date right before you meet “The One.” You’re welcome, fellas.
To sum this all up, I’m not perfect. I don’t necessarily have a long list of bragworthy achievements or a resume that requires trimming down. I’m pretty hard on myself (if you haven’t figured that out already) and my fear of being judged by others has kept me back from many things I would have otherwise tried out in life. I’ve struggled over the years with self-esteem and confidence and I’ve spent the last few months researching and coming up with different ways to get out there and try things that otherwise I may be too scared to do. In my weekly column, I hope to share with you the things that have helped, hindered or that I discover make absolutely no difference in the end towards enriching my own life.
The first thing I decided to do was based on a suggestion from my page-a-day “The Happiness Project” (based on the novel by Gretchen Rubin) calendar. The fact that I own this calendar is probably reason enough to throw myself an intervention and work on my “happy.” The particular page I’m going to reference is to make 12 commandments to live your life by. This sounds silly and isn’t for everyone, but I found it a useful tool for giving myself general rules by which I make the vast majority of my decisions. My 12 commandments (for example) were as follows:
1. Laugh until your face hurts.
2. Tell great stories that make people giggle and smile.
3. Spend time with your family and value them.
4. Tell amazing people how amazing they are.
5. Don’t waste your time forcing bad relationships to work.
6. Forgive everyone and anyone, no matter what.
7. Come from a place of “YES.”
8. Use your mistakes to strengthen your future, not deter you.
9. Pray when you’re thankful, not just when you need help.
10. Never, ever stop learning.
11. Don’t complain, just fix it.
12. Be smart with your money; use it towards impactful memories.
I use this list to remind myself of the key concepts that I need to work on constantly to take care of myself. Forcing bad relationships to work is one that I have to read over and over again, as well as the line about not being deterred by past mistakes. I do believe that absolutely everything happens for a reason, so even our errors help move us to a better and different point in our lives. Just like the famous Alice in Wonderland quote: “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road’ll take you there.” The fun part in life is closing your eyes tightly, spinning around in circles for a few minutes and then blindly choosing a path that you’re going to follow. Some people are born with an innate drive and ambition towards one passion or another, while others may spend a lifetime relying on gut instincts and working hard towards simply finding…”my happy.”
