What is the value of seeing yourself? This question has blown my mind for the past few weeks now. I keep repeating it to myself, over and over again. Sometimes, in slow motion.
“What is the value of seeing myself?” I ask. Why am I really doing this? ‘This’ being what I call the work of the soul. I view this soul work as a spiritual journey in which I strive to understand myself, my whole self, as well as all of creation, so that I may be the best person that I can be—mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally—and, more importantly, better aid the good of humanity.
Learning how to think
One avenue that greatly assists me on this journey is being a student, teacher and director at a local metaphysical school. The school emphasizes the power of the mind and serves as a platform for people to study themselves, understand themselves, know and understand the mind and ultimately learn how to use the mind to create whatever one wants in life.
The motto is: “We don’t teach you what to think, we teach you how to think.” Powerful.
I have always had an affinity towards the deeper aspects of life, the mysteries, the unknown, the unseen, the unspoken. Constantly questioning everything and wanting to know ‘why,’ as my father would say, about everything!
After so many years of books, videos, online articles, deep conversations and seeing psychics and tarot card readers, I suppose the Universe thought it was time for me to get serious and start figuring this stuff out for myself. I came to my first metaphysical class on the recommendation of a friend, and was instantly taken that night.
I quickly saw that this was not just a place where a group of like-minded people gathered around to talk about deep subject matter, but was instead a place where YOU are the deep subject matter, and you learn about yourself through applied practices and principles, such as:
- Learning how to concentrate, meditate and visualize.
- Learning to strengthen your reasoning, will and intuition.
- Learning to remember and interpret your dreams.
We just breathe
Why would I care to do any of this? Why would anyone care?
Because there is something so strong and unwavering in me that knows there HAS to be something more than what appears to the naked eye. There has to be more to life than small talk, what’s for dinner, buying the latest technology, hating our jobs but going every day anyway, not pursuing what we’re really passionate about, not saying what we mean, saying and doing what everyone else wants us to do, living life on autopilot, being self-indulgent and selfish, and becoming desensitized to almost everything, it seems.
So desensitized that we don’t even realize we’re desensitized. Keeping ourselves and especially our minds busy with other things, other people’s needs, so we don’t have to SEE or feel our own stuff. We were not born to simply move through life in these ways and die. What would be the point of that? The purpose?
For me, perhaps the realization that these types of experiences were taking up far too much of my life was the catalyst, the shake-up I needed to go deeper.
The funny thing is that this wasn’t even a conscious thought or realization. However, it was on a subconscious or soul level. I see that now. In hindsight, it seems I was divinely led to a path of studying the mind and self to great degrees.
It has not only been an illuminating path, but also a very healing one. After my first introduction, there was no thought or question as to what was next. Being on this type of path, a path of exploring the self and mind to great degrees, felt as natural as breathing. We don’t think and then breathe. We just breathe.
As I began to study exercises in concentration, breathwork and meditation, I began to experience what true stillness had to offer. The stiller my mind became, the slower my thoughts became; thus, I was able to witness the thinker behind the thoughts.
This stillness allowed me to see more clearly what was beneath the surface: what my true thoughts and feelings are, what my true wants and desires are.
We are unstoppable
We are limitless and unstoppable when we can see and know ourselves in this way. When we see what we need to see. And by seeing what we need to see, I mean the pleasant and the unpleasant. On my own journey, I began to ask questions like, “What does Jamie want?” and even, “Who is Jamie?”
I had the startling realization that I had never truly asked myself those questions before. It seemed like I had let life lead me more times than I went after what I truly wanted. I realized that fear and doubt were the things holding me back, and preventing me from really diving into those questions. Doubt that I could have what I truly wanted and fear that it wouldn’t happen.
This type of thinking gives us the false belief that we are keeping ourselves safe, when in all actuality, it’s keeping us small. To know what we want, we must acknowledge and correct what we do not want.
The unpleasant things we witness about ourselves are usually in the form of thoughts, attitudes and behaviours that are habitual and unconscious. They not only keep us stuck, but if unchanged, will prevent us from true greatness—from being who we want to be and achieving what we are destined to achieve.
Examples of unconscious, habitual thoughts and behaviours include being closed-minded or closed-off, emotionally reacting to events instead of responding, projecting, assuming, and turning to things like drugs, alcohol or food in order to deal with pain or emptiness. These are common patterns for many people, myself included.
There is gold
It takes a strong will, consistency with your spiritual or mental practices, and discipline to overcome and master these patterns. The whole work of the soul’s journey and all that it entails can take years to unravel and perfect.
And even then, it is really a matter of perfecting because, as we know, there is no such thing as perfection. It does not happen overnight. And it is not always easy. But why should it be? We have a better appreciation for what we must work for.
To be perfectly honest, the work of the soul is gut-wrenching. It is raw and messy. You see things about yourself that you do not like, do not want to admit, are not ready to let go of, don’t see anything wrong with and so on. Old, painful, buried memories come up. You might even indulge in self-destructive or self-indulgent behaviours while you’re on your path, but that’s OK, because it’s all a part of the process. You are not backsliding in these moments.
All the moments are valuable, growth-filled experiences. And trust me, I know it doesn’t feel like it at the time, in the moment, but as you remain committed to your path and your purpose, in time you will see that all the moments, good and bad, are perfect for your journey. Your experiences may be quite different than those of another who is on a similar path, but there is no right or wrong.
The learning you gain, the good you can contrive from your experiences and the deep understanding you take with you will make it all worthwhile. That’s the gold.
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