Yeah, sometimes the emotional charge can be so strong that it takes over the communication. In those cases I find using a particular communication style can be helpful as it can really take away that excessive emotional charge while still remaining true to one's emotions. I find it can help disarm both my emotional overcharges and the person I'm talking to.

I'm a big fan of nonviolent communication for this. I've attended a course by Marshall Rosenberg and found it quite helpful in my life. There are other types of communication styles that are similar so it's not the only one.

It requires breaking down a response into these four parts: observation, feeling, needs, request. So it can be a bit overkill depending on the conversation and is generally not practical to use all the time, but the main point for me that I've found helpful is to focus on presenting factual evidence rather than saying something that could be construed as opinion or judgment. Then take it from there to express your feelings, needs, and your request wherever it makes sense to do so.

We published an excerpt from Marshall Rosenberg's book that goes over the process in general:

https://www.themindfulword.org/nonviolent-communication-nvc-rosenberg/

I've also written something about it:

https://www.themindfulword.org/first-impressions-vocabulary-judgement/