Mindfulness is a fabulous psychological and spiritual tool that will allow you to wring more life from the human experience, and reflect and respond to events instead of reacting off the cuff. However, it isn’t just for adults. Even young children can benefit, and teaching them this skill will provide them with a healthy coping mechanism for life.
How can you do so without sending your children on a retreat? Here are six techniques for teaching mindfulness to your children in and around your home.
Teach instead of punishing
Imagine the following scenario: Your boss calls you into their office at work and reprimands you, outlining everything you do wrong, but they don’t tell you what to do to improve and ignore everything you do right each day. How long could you labour under such conditions before polishing up your resume and looking elsewhere?
Your child’s mind may not be as developed as yours, but they’ll react in the same way to seemingly arbitrary punishments—with resentment and frustration. Psychologists have long suggested that people respond better to rewards than chastisement, and neuroscience explains why.
Young children struggle to process the complexity of negative feedback, which means that it’s more effective to reinforce good behaviour than send them to their room when they don’t fully understand what they did wrong.
You and your child should identify the emotions that are giving rise to their maladaptive behaviours in order to modify the behaviours. Teach your child this simple colour system for recognizing how their feelings influence their actions.
- Blue zone: This colour indicates that your child is tired, hungry or under the weather, and isn’t quite ready to work or co-operate.
- Green zone: Green is the ideal shade, as it represents feeling calm, relaxed and focused.
- Yellow zone: Like a warning traffic light, yellow indicates the need for caution. Your child might be slightly frustrated or irritable, but they’re still in control of their emotions.
- Red zone: This hue refers to when your child feels furious or devastated. It’s not conducive to productive activity and warrants mindful intervention measures.
What can you do when your child “sees red?” Your best bet is to teach them how to self-soothe before tantrums strike.
Do so by modelling such behavior yourself. For example, when you feel ready to snap, instead tell your children, “I’m entering the red zone right now. I’m going to lie down and read quietly in my room until I feel better.” Encourage your children to do the same, treating such interventions not as punishments, but as effective strategies for managing challenging emotions. It also helps to implement daily quiet times so that your child will grow to look forward to peaceful activities like colouring and reading.
Show them how to breathe
In Yoga, breathwork or pranayama is key to establishing the calm-yet-energetic mindset that’ll help you have the best practice you possibly can. You don’t have to be on the mat to reap the benefits of breathwork, though! Wherever you are at home, you can teach your children deep breathing techniques that they can use to quell panic and quiet overwhelming emotions when they strike.
Consider the boxed breathing technique employed by Navy SEALS. It’s easy for children to remember because it revolves around a four-count. Start by inhaling for four, holding your breath for four and and then exhaling and pausing for the same length of time.
Another mindful breathing method to teach your children is the two-to-one technique. Inhale for a four-count, pause for just a few seconds and then exhale for twice as long as your inhales. Doing so will allow you to tap into your body’s parasympathetic nervous system—the side of your central nervous system that’s responsible for your resting and digesting functions.
When you’re teaching any mindfulness technique to your children, practice makes perfect. These methods work best if you reinforce them when your little one feels calm and relaxed. Suggest a few moments of breathing together after you pick your kids up from school, or start your mealtimes with a few moments of focused breaths.
Embrace colouring books
Colouring is an excellent mindfulness practice for children and adults. Best of all, it requires no artistic talent, simply a desire to create.
You can find colouring books at nearly any dollar store, along with markers, crayons and coloured pencils aplenty. You can stock up for less than $20. Why not pick up some supplies for the entire family—including yourself?
Colouring is the ideal activity to suggest during your daily quiet time with one or more children. If you feel overwhelmed and frazzled, why not consider colouring for a while with your child? You’ll both benefit from the together time and the peaceful, reflective activity.
Practice Yoga together
Yoga is the ultimate mindfulness practice, and it knows no age limits. There’s even a pose called Happy Baby that mimics an infant playing with their wee toes.
The trick to teaching Yoga to kiddos is making it fun and using age-appropriate terms. Your 3-year-old might not be able to pronounce “marjariasana,” but they’ll understand how to round their spine like a scared Halloween kitty.
You can use Yoga to wind down together as a family in the evening. Why not institute a practice of performing 10 minutes of mindful stretching after you brush your teeth?
Try mindful mealtimes
Have you heard of the mindfulness exercise that entails slowly unwrapping and savouring a square of chocolate? While you can practice this particular exercise with your children—who doesn’t like candy?—you can also make all of your mealtimes more mindful.
Start by banishing electronics—including that cable news broadcast that only dampens your mood. Teach your children to honour their bodies by focusing on nothing but eating and spending time with loved ones for 15 to 20 minutes.
Encourage your family members to slow down by putting their forks down between bites and savouring their meal. Bring your kiddos in the kitchen with you while you prepare dinner, and have them observe how the flavours blend and the colours change as you add ingredients to a dish.
Make bedtime mindful
If your family practices a religious faith, having your children say their prayers before bedtime is the perfect study in mindfulness, but you can still practice mindfulness at bedtime without focusing on a particular belief system.
Instead, you can spend a few moments with your child before they sleep, and reflect on their day with them. What would they have done differently? Can they name two or three things for which they feel grateful? Challenge them to end their day by contemplating the positive things in life.
Teaching kids mindfulness is worth it!
Mindfulness is an excellent tool for self-management, and it’s available to people of all ages. It’s worth it to teach this practice to your kids, regardless of whether they’re toddlers or getting ready to go to high school.
Medical disclaimer: This page is for educational and informational purposes only and may not be construed as medical advice. The information is not intended to replace medical advice offered by physicians. Please refer to the full text of our medical disclaimer.
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