Relationships are amazing opportunities to meet Spirit face-to-face, and to refine ourselves even more than we’re able to on our own. Our beloveds hold up mirrors for us, sometimes reflecting back beauty and other times showing us our deepest fears, wounds and insecurities. Whatever the mirror may be reflecting, relationships are invitations to communicate with ourselves on higher levels.

In relationships, something both dies and is reborn within us. We die to our individual selves and are reborn into the One—the partnership—uniting in a sacred union with one another. Because relationships present such delicate opportunities for growth, we can approach them on levels that surpass the body and mind, and thereby touch each other on the energetic level and commit to one another in an even deeper way.

meditating Buddha with chakras lit

The seven chakras, from root (red) to crown (violet), minus the sixth chakra/third eye

By committing to each other on the energetic level, we lay strong foundations that provide us with reliable containers to hold ourselves and our partners as we live and love together. 

In this way, we look to the seven chakras to make this energetic commitment. Chakras are vortices of energy, or energy centres, spinning in a clockwise direction. We find them about two to three inches above the physical body, with the first one at our root and the seventh at our crown.

The first five chakras, from root to throat, are the Earth Chakras that are nourished primarily by Mother Earth. The sixth and seventh chakras are known as the Sky Chakras.

Looking to the chakras


Together with our partners, we need to examine each of the chakras and make an energetic commitment to one another, aligning each of these energy centres to cultivate an even deeper commitment.

The first chakra

How are we going to build our home, our foundation, together? Where? How will we support one another in meeting our most basic needs? Can we help each other with our most fundamental survival needs? Can we reveal our true selves within the relationship? Do we feel safe, and can we deeply trust one another?

This is where we’ll learn whether there’s a strong enough foundation to keep building.

The second chakra

How will each of us hold the other in a sacred container, supporting them as they learn and grow over the years? Are we willing to accept the other person in all of his/her fullness: the good, the bad and the ugly? Do we embrace the Other in his/her entirety of being? Will we invite the Other to express their gifts and talents, as well as their faults and imperfections? What about our physical connection? Do we have amazing sex together?

The third chakra, the core

Do we respect and honour each other’s power and unique expression of Self in the world, without competing with or feeling threatened by the Other? How will we contribute to supporting one another in this way? How will each of us complement the Other and his/her role and essence?

The fourth chakra, the heart centre

heart to heart connectionDo we vow to unconditionally love the Other? Do we truly care about the other person with warmth, beauty, compassion and grace? Is our love actually unconditional, or are there conditions? Unconditional love doesn’t mean believing that the Other can do no wrong—it means that there’s a presence of love rooted in honouring and respecting the Other.

The fifth chakra

How can we support one another in expressing our unique voices? How can we respect the Other as he/she stands impeccably in their truth? Do we respect the Other’s opinions, beliefs, perspectives and ideas, even if they differ from our own? Do we vow to be a good listener? Can we make a commitment to hear the Other deeply? Are we willing to be a sacred witness for our partner, through thick and thin? Can we hold space for them and invite them to have the courage to say what needs to be said, when it needs to be said?

The sixth chakra, the third eye

Do our visions for our life’s journeys align? Do we both hold the same ideas about our future together? Do our pictures of what we want out of life look similar to one another’s? How will each of us support the Other in making these visions come into being? How will we help each other breathe life into our journeys through the world? 

The seventh chakra, the crown

Do we share similar spiritual beliefs? How can we have a joint spiritual practice? Are we willing to support one another on our respective spiritual journeys, even if they differ?

Seven levels of deep commitment


Often, couples will have a strong physical connection and great sex, along with a deep love for one another, which will unite the second and fourth chakras.

Yet, they overlook their connection on other levels, such as whether they share the same fundamental values, whether they align spiritually with one another, or whether they’ll respect and honour each other’s  personal power and expression in the world. Or, perhaps they may believe that they’ve married their fourth chakras in unconditional love—when, in fact, they place condition after condition on their love for each other.

If we don’t have all our chakras harmonized, we’ll end up unfulfilled and the relationship won’t work in the long run.

We must go through seven levels of deep commitment in any intimate relationship we have, with each level corresponding to one of the seven chakras. If we don’t have all our chakras harmonized, we’ll end up unfulfilled and the relationship won’t work in the long run. Putting in the necessary work at each level invites a deeper, more lasting and fulfilling relationship.

If we’re already in a partnership and one or more of the seven levels described above seem ‘off’, we can also use this map to tune in to where the relationship needs some help, by identifying the chakras that require more balance and harmony.

Become your perfect partner


man and girl on bicycleMany of us search for the perfect partners, looking outside ourselves for the Other to complete us and make us whole. When one relationship ends, we move on to the next, hoping the next partner will be that perfect match we’re looking for. If we’re lucky, this next relationship lasts a few months before the honeymoon period ends.

Instead of following this pattern, we need to turn our focus inward. We must stop chasing the perfect partner and become the perfect partners for ourselves. An energetic commitment of this nature will transform us all into better versions of ourselves, allowing us to embrace our relationships—when we do enter them—with even deeper love and meaning than before. 

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Olivia Apuchin is a New York lawyer turned shamanic energy medicine practitioner, healer and spiritual adviser. Trained traditionally by the Four Winds Society, Olivia has spent years learning from and working with the shamans of the indigenous peoples of the high Andes. She has an international healing practice, and her work combines ancient wisdom with modern science in order to alchemize the soul and harmonize individuals through all levels of existence: mind, body and spirit. She can be contacted at onetribemedicine@gmail.com.


image 1 via Pixabay  2 Pixabay 3 Pixabay