A big part of being a parent is not only showing your children the positive things in life, but also introducing some realities that can be a bit more on the negative side. It’s important to do this in a well-planned manner, beginning with a game-plan. Shielding your kids from some dark realities, until they find their way in the real world themselves, can actually create a harsh environment for them.
You may be a parent who has personally lived with mental illness. If that’s not the case, then you probably know someone who has struggled with it. One of the hardest things about dealing with mental illness is getting a diagnosis. Nobody wants to believe they are in the category of clinical depression or anxiety.
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- 4 percent of children aged 3 to 17 years (approximately 4.5 million) have a diagnosed behaviour problem.
- 1 percent of children aged 3 to 17 years (approximately 4.4 million) have diagnosed anxiety.
- 2 percent of children aged 3 to 17 years (approximately 1.9 million) have diagnosed depression.
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Mental illness can start at an early age, and opening up a discussion with your kids can establish comfort, so they know they can tell you if they feel something is wrong or feels off. There is nothing redeemable about a child or adult trying to ‘just deal with’ a mental illness. It can completely dominate and define your life if it’s not correctly treated.
Educate yourself
Before having a talk with your kids, do some research so you will have the answers to their many questions. We never know what children will ask when it comes to serious topics such as this one, so you may have to improvise a little, but you still want to be armed with the facts. Some great mental health resources include:
Unfortunately, these resources are not well-circulated, but they do exist, and you can do your part by using them and sharing them with others. If your child has a question that completely stumps you, tell them you’re not sure, but will find out the answer for them.
Plant the seed
It’s never easy to bring up heavy topics such as this with your younger loved ones. You want your kids to know that the world can be a positive, happy place where anything is possible, but we all know that as we grow up, there are events that can shake up our lives.
Having this talk about mental health is to plant the seed that if they are ever feeling sad, isolated, or different, or are worried all the time, that’s OK and it may be something they can’t control themselves.
When talking to your children about this topic, make sure to:
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- Talk at an appropriate level so that children will be able to process the information and understand.
- Keep it simple and straightforward; do not complicate things.
- Watch for how they react, as this should help you navigate the conversation.
- Gauge your child’s mood before having the talk, since you want to have it when they seem to be having a good day.
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If you sense that your child is becoming upset or uncomfortable, ease off the conversation. The seed has at least been planted, and you can revisit it at another time. The main thing is to establish transparency with your kid, in case they ever don’t feel comfortable in their own skin.
Talk about your experience
Are you a parent who has dealt with mental illness yourself? Drawing from personal experience, when having this talk with your child, can be a giant step towards helping them understand mental health.
You could be a shining example of someone who has a mental illness, has dealt with it and still lives a happy, fulfilling life. As your kids grow up, this can also help show them that Mom or Dad is also human, and isn’t always going to be the happy-go-lucky parent they love, because of what they are dealing with.
We want our kids to be happy every moment of their lives, and we want to shield them from any harm, but we inherently know how counterproductive that can be. Easing our kids into reality and showing them that we, too, have flaws is a healthy way of introducing them to the real world.
As your kids get older, keep the conversation about mental health open, and periodically check in with them. Sure, it may sometimes annoy them, but they need to know that not only is it OK to think they may have a mental health issue, but that their parents understand and will help them with it.
Have you talked to your kids about mental health yet? What strategies did you implement? If you feel comfortable, share your story in the Comments section below.
