We’re not here to be perfect enlightened beings, we’re here to experience.

Fear, grief, pain, joy, love—the ebbs and flows of emotions we witness day-to-day, as spiritual beings having this human experience, can be overwhelming. Fortunately, there are tools in our spiritual toolkits that can help us realign and recalibrate anytime we’re in a state of being we don’t prefer.

Using this four-step process, we can come back to the present moment, the Eternal Now—the only moment we really ever have. In a previous article, I mentioned three superpowers we all have: the breath, intention and intuition. These are core personal powers we can use daily.

Employing these tools, along with the four-step process below, can help us alleviate stress and deal with the emotional burdens we encounter throughout daily life.

4 steps to walking in beauty

I use this four-step process anytime I’m feeling out of alignment with my true nature or am experiencing a state of Being that I don’t prefer, such as fear, frustration, sadness or insecurity.

You, too, can try using this four-step process anytime you’re feeling overwhelmed or overburdened.


cat looking at rain on windowThe term “surrender” gets a bad rap because some people tend to associate negative connotations with the word, but all surrender really means here is to accept or become aware. What we resist persists, so surrendering and accepting in the moment can be a helpful practice.

In applying this first step of surrendering, we can use tools such as detachment, non-attachment, observation and witnessing. More specifically, this means to accept what’s happening by bringing the experience into your awareness and shedding light on what’s coming up for you in the moment.

You can also explore the “why” in addition to the “what,” but too much exploration of “Why is this happening to me?” or “I thought I already processed this issue,” or “This isn’t fair,” will simply perpetuate the state of being that you don’t prefer, because your continued attention to that state will only draw more of the same type of energy back to you.

After bringing your feelings and your situation into your awareness, consciously choose to surrender and accept what’s happening for you in that moment. Honour the underlying wound and witness yourself non-judgmentally as you explore what’s revealing itself to you. Once again, in this stage of surrender, the keys are non-attachment and observation.

To effectively apply this stage of Surrendering, be a witness to your own experience. Detach as much as possible from the feelings you’re feeling, and then stay in observer-consciousness mode while witnessing what’s coming up for you and what’s happening around you. As much as you’re detached when you notice it’s raining outside, apply that same type of thinking when feelings you don’t prefer arise for you.

Ask for help

beggar By this, I mean that you can ask for help from the Universe, Spirit, angels, your guides, your higher Self—it doesn’t really matter what label you use, but to keep things simple, we’ll say the Universe or your higher Self. You must (I repeat, must) affirmatively ask, because the Universal Law of free will can never be broken. Without asking, we can’t receive help.

Many people have unconscious blocks to receiving. For one reason or another, our conditioning—whether that includes feelings of unworthiness, competition, pride, confidence or whatever else—may prevent us from having the courage to ask and to stand in truth, saying what needs to be said when it needs to be said.

Asking for help can be a simple call to action through the use of affirmation and intention. By affirmatively sending your call for help out to the Universe, you’re placing an order on its menu, much like you would in a restaurant. Opening up a dialogue with the Universe or your higher Self is one of the most efficient and harmonizing ways to set things in your life into motion.

If you’re in a state of being that you don’t prefer, after you surrender and put the first stage above into practice, it’ll be time to place your order on the menu of the Universe. You can simply ask for help in whatever terms you feel most comfortable with, as there really isn’t a wrong way to do it. The important part is that you ask, and that the asking is affirmative.

Trust the universe

waitress taking orderThe third step is to trust in the Universe. This is probably the most simple step, logistically, and yet it’s one of the hardest to actually apply.

Once you place your order on the Universe’s menu, you’ll need to trust yourself and the Universe, too. Some people find it helpful when I give them this example:

When ordering something from an online retail shop, you place your order and you receive an email confirmation. After receiving the email confirmation, do you go to the mailbox every single minute of the day, for days on end, until the order arrives?

No. Once you receive the email confirmation, you go about your day and you do other things. When a thought arises such as, “my order hasn’t come yet,” you remind yourself that you received the confirmation, and you know deep within yourself that in a day or two, your items will be arriving.

The same holds true when you personally order from the menu of the Universe. Once you do, you can sit back, breathe, trust yourself and the Universe, and allow yourself to receive.

Questioning yourself, or allowing lower vibrations such as doubts to arise, will only create more blocks to your reception of the order the Universe is working so hard to fulfill on your behalf.

Choose love

love in scrabble lettersAt this point, you’ve now surrendered, asked for help, trusted in the Universe and placed your order, and now you can choose love. This is the fourth and final step of the process.

When we choose love, we return to our true eternal nature and consciously make the choice to realign with a higher frequency.

When we’re in a state of being we don’t prefer, we can use that state of being to change the channel—to change our vibration and our frequency back to a state of being we do prefer. Love and gratitude are the easiest vehicles through which we can do this.

When we choose love, we return to our true eternal nature and consciously make the choice to realign with a higher frequency. Love and gratitude are the highest vibrations there are, and when we choose to return to love and see beauty in the things around us, we step into the infinite flow of the universe where all the things we prefer—love, harmony, bliss, happiness, abundance, prosperity—are more readily and easily available to us.

We can choose love in a number of ways, such as by connecting with nature, refocusing on the breath, following our highest passion or doing something we really love to do. This could mean going to a Yoga class, spending time with a friend we love seeing, calling someone who makes us feel good or reading a book we love.

Essentially, we choose love by following our highest passion to the best of our ability. When we follow our bliss, amazing things become possible. We begin to vibrate at our true and unique energy signature, and then, synchronicities become more available to us and all good things more readily flow to and through us.

Choosing love helps us realign and renew ourselves more quickly, and by making this choice, we can breathe even more deeply, all the while trusting that the order we placed on the Universe is being fulfilled.

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Olivia Weil is a New York lawyer turned shamanic energy medicine practitioner, soul alchemy coach and plant-based nutritionist. She holds post-graduate certification in plant-based nutrition from Cornell University; and in the energy medicine space, she was trained traditionally by the Four Winds Society and the shamans of  the indigenous peoples of the high Andes.  She has an international healing practice that involves travelling between the Americas and combines ancient wisdom with modern science. She can be reached at Olivia@onelovemedicine.com.

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