Whenever he lowers his voice, speaks louder and uses authoritative instructions, she gets a piercing look and a squeaky pitch in her voice. When he sees her look, his voice gets even louder. This couple have had repeated fights that escalate into angry outbreaks for over 12 years. Although they’ve received marriage counselling and participated in numerous relationship workshops, nothing has helped them change their compulsive loop.
Does this scenario seem familiar? Do you find yourself feeling the same emotions over and over again with no apparent choice?
Are you running yourself or is something running you?
When you watch a movie at home, you’re listening to pre-programmed voices and sounds that someone has designed. You’re taken into a different world. You automatically experience and feel a full set of mental and emotional states. Moreover, the light that reflects through the screen and the sounds you hear through those speakers actually seem real.
Indeed, these external light and sound effects are just as real to your brain as inner voices. Both function as triggers—resulting in specific feelings, responses and behaviours.
In the external world, it’s easy to say “it’s just a movie” and “not real.” But are your inner thoughts and emotions not more real than that movie?
What is the phenomenon we call emotion?
We all experience emotions as felt sensations in our body, along with the appropriate changes in heart rate, sweat, skin moisture, breathing rates, adrenalin and endorphin levels. These felt senses inevitably go along with inner images, internal dialogues and other sensory experiences.
This is the fabric that creates the story we call reality.
It isn’t the tactile sensations alone that make us feel depressed or happy. Rather, our mind translates those stimuli into an interpretation. It’s usually a memory of the past or an internal dialogue about what could happen in the future that are the main factors that create what we call emotion, which we then experience as horrible or delightful.
When you wear pink glasses, you see everything in pink. When you have a large funnel in your ear, everything sounds distorted. It’s not the other person or outer circumstance that causes emotion but your response to internal movies or voices.
So, it’s not about stories, because they are countless. The stories of “my life,” “my money,” “my love” are all similar. It’s only the fabric, the material that makes the story, which we can change. Stories go on just like dreams. In Sanskrit this phenomenon is called maya, which means illusion or hallucination.
If we are run by maya, or inner hallucinations, the question remains: What is reality? And who determines reality?
If you realized you were being run by maya, wouldn’t you naturally want to run for freedom? Our minds cannot always believe that freedom exists inside of us. But, just as your inner theatre influences you, you can influence your internal voices and movies in ways that create new states and experiences. And you have already done this—thousands of times.
Unlike other animals, humans have choices. We have more brain capacity, a frontal/cerebral cortex, and many higher intellectual functions, which provide us with abilities to discern and sort. Humans are designed for excellence.
What’s the secret to inner freedom?
Here’s a secret you already know: you’re not a slave of your mind, but already free. Maybe you’ve tried different spiritual practices, yogic or martial art techniques, and meditation, but there was still doubt lurking: “How can I not only experience and meet my inner freedom but stay connected to it, regardless of triggers and circumstances?”
Take a moment and look at whether you’re truly ready to move away from being enslaved by inner programs. Are you ready to move towards inner freedom? You might expect that your mind will raise doubts. Why? Because that is its job.
One simple practice to help you move away from the slavery of your internal movie theatre and critical dialogue and towards enhancing inner freedom is to remember a time when you were able to change your mood—with the snap of your fingers you could just shift. What did you do on your inside? There was a change of internal dialogue. It happened. You could do it. Now try the same process with conscious intention.
Notice the internal dialogue that goes along with any damaging emotion. For example, a nagging slow and low voice that says “I can’t do it.”
As soon as you become aware of this made-up idea or hallucination, thank yourself for that awareness. Once you decide not to listen to that depressed, critical voice anymore, take a deep breath and move your body. Whatever is in your mind, let it be there with consciousness, awareness and acceptance.
Daring to meet the fears which obstruct your inner freedom is a mark of true artistry and personal excellence. Finding out how to become more proficient at being the master rather than the slave of your mind brings you closer to who you truly are.
Overcoming inner slavery and meeting inner freedom is just as huge as the Emancipation Proclamation—maybe bigger. We especially need inner freedom at a time when society destroys itself with wars and disappears behind the conditioning of enslaving its members every day.
Let’s get back to the end of the story of the couple enmeshed in their emotional trap. Both engaged in Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Inner Freedom practices. She learned to recognize the trigger evoked by his voice and go to a calm inner place. He learned to identify when he goes into his “emotional anger trance” and, instead, perform a simple yet powerful inner shift, allowing him to pause, refresh, and walk away. This couple has overcome the slavery of their emotional patterns and successfully reached a new, inner freedom.
Read more on this topic in THE POWER OF WORDS: Use affirmations to reprogram your life
[su_panel background=”#f2f2f2″ color=”#000000″ border=”0px none #ffffff” shadow=”0px 0px 0px #ffffff”]Arpana Greenwood, German ND and certifying Trainer in Neuro-Linguistic Programming, has a 25-year background in Eastern and Western spiritual teachings. See www.conscioussolutions.com for her new event series: Meeting Inner Freedom. First published in Alaska Wellness.
