Is there such as thing as mindful travelling with children? I didn’t think it was possible until my recent travel experience with my family. Travelling internationally can often be daunting, tiring and draining with children. But if perfected mindfully, it’s an experience that stays with you for a lifetime.
My son was six months when he took his first trip on an airplane, and then 11 months, and then 18 months and so on and so forth. We try to take at least one family vacation a year, consisting of my husband, my seven-year-old son, and I.
When my son was younger, our travels revolved around vacation resorts by the beach where we could sit and lounge and do nothing. The sun was warm, the beach was right at our footsteps, and it was pure relaxation. So much so that my son has also begun to equate vacation with beach vacations. If anyone asks him where he would like to go on vacation his answer is MEXICO. Why Mexico—it used to be because “there is a bar in the pool and we can go and have a drink—of course orange juice.” And as the he got older, it was “because they have a kids club and I got to play the Wii.” Simple pleasures for a child.
As parents, we want to be able to share as much as possible with our children. Sometimes we want them to share some of the positive experiences we had as children, and at other times, give them the opportunity to experience what we never got to experience as children. Yet, in that process we forget to take a moment and look at those experiences through their eyes. What are they seeing? How are they taking things in around them? What is it that they will always remember? And that is practicing mindfulness.
I want to expose my son to as much of the world as I can within my capacity. When we’re able to see how people from all over the world live—our worldview expands. We become more open in our thinking, more accepting of people and more flexible.
The world we live in is so large, and there are so many ways of living, eating, dancing, singing, writing and painting. So this time, instead of us choosing someplace warm and doing our usual beach resort, we decided that we would visit a city with history. And more importantly, some place that neither my husband nor myself had been before. After much research, we chose Istanbul, Turkey. Of course, telling a seven-year old that we’re going to Turkey on vacation—his face curled and he was wondering why? What’s there? Why is it called Turkey? So many questions!!
Of course, I could wait until he’s older and he can go backpacking with his friends, but there’s a certain joy as a parent when you can share these moments with your children. You have a first-hand glimpse into your child becoming an individual, shaping opinions, asking questions to understand things, and it becomes a growth on both levels—as a parent you learn to appreciate your child as an individual, and as a child, you hold onto memories that will be with you for a lifetime. One of the things my son said to us as we returned from our trip this time, was “The best part of this trip was I got to see you guys and be with you all the time.” Words like this are priceless and make it even more worth it.
I write about this experience through the eyes of a seven-year old going to a foreign land where customs, language, food, dance, roads, religion is different. He’s seeing everything for the first time and even though it may be very different, he still eases into it much easier than an adult would. There were a couple of things that stood out on this trip as I experienced it through his eyes.
Technology – The journey starts off at the airport where in this day and age, everything has become computerized, including the check-in process. For a child who is school age and surrounded by computers, iPad, video games, this is very exciting and as much as I don’t have the patience to have him be included in the check-in process, my husband took the time to include him.
For me, it was about “finishing off the check-in so we can go through security.” Key point here—that is definitely not being mindful! For my son, it was about “understanding how the machine works, what comes out of the machine and seeing a product come out i.e. our boarding passes. Our son plunged into this right away; he was eagerly watching my husband input information into the machine. At one point, we couldn’t get any further and then voila, says our son—“Daddy, why don’t you try putting your credit card in… it may work.” Of course what do you know—it did.
So lesson one for us: as much as we say let’s not get them involved in things that may be adult like or we may think that it could prolong the process, inclusion in certain things can be helpful. For us, it was a life saver so that we didn’t have to stand in a long line. Another lesson for me: “Take your time, there is no need to rush.”
Immigration, security and visas – “Why do we need permission to enter a country?” “Why does our passport need to be stamped?” “Another line?” “Why do you have to take off my shoes and I don’t?” Curiosity in its fullest—he didn’t understand the security process and the need to be searched (keep in mind because he is in school, he followed rules to the bone) but coming up with a rational way of thinking this through continued to loom in his mind. I’m not sure if he understood the process fully.
As a parent, you want your child to have a sense of trust in the world—we talk about us being diverse and yet being one country. But for a child when they begin to see separation and laws with regard to immigration, imagine what could be going through their minds. The only analogy that we could think of is: “If someone comes to your house, they have to ring the doorbell to enter, they cannot simply enter without permission. So it’s the same with visiting other countries.” That seemed to register slowly, but it was still somewhat different.
What I found amusing was that he wanted to show his face to the immigration officer, almost as if to emphasize “I’m here, I’m here, please let me in.” He began to anticipate what was expected of him when we began to approach security clearance. So maybe it wasn’t so much about “the why” to him at that point, but more about “the process.” Another lesson in mindfulness.
Maps become very important to a child who is in a new country. I like to walk and find new routes. My idea of walking would be: who knows what we stumble upon? Serendipity is big for me when it comes to travelling. But through the eyes of our son, it becomes different. He wants to know where we’re going, what we’re taking and how we’re getting there. Thank God for maps because even if I wasn’t savvy in figuring it out, he found a way to figure it out. There were nights when we’d be walking to our hotel and he would say, “It’s the wrong way, you have to go this way.” He would take out his map and show us the long way and the short way. It also made me think: Knowing where you’re going is not a bad thing necessarily! It’s being aware of your surroundings and walking mindfully that’s most important.
Sightseeing takes a whole new turn if you’re doing it with a child. Being seven, he has entered the world of reading, he can grasp concepts, he’s taking in the sights and sounds around him. One of the most beautiful places we visited was The Blue Mosque. I didn’t know if he would like it, but it stayed with him throughout the trip—perhaps because he looked up at the ceiling and wondered how could people get up there so high and paint that? I gave him a camera so he could click what he felt was important to him and the clicking went non-stop.
Chasing pigeons and watching them fly over you was another fun activity. Touring the whole city to find the perfect gift for his teachers was another excursion. Walking through the streets and having total strangers come up to him and pat him on the head, pinch his cheeks, offer him sweets and have him feed street cats was a joy for him. Watching his parents do hookah was quite amusing and he began to look at us with different eyes. He was fascinated with the traditional lamps. Every shop had rows of ceiling lamps hanging with beautiful colours. I enjoyed watching him stop and look at the lamps. Getting on a tour bus was exciting to him because he got headphones that he gets to keep and use with his other electronic devices.
Going on The Famous Bosporus bridge was exciting to him more so because of the wind that was blowing in our faces due to altitude rather than because we were crossing into a different continent. Visiting a palace was exciting because of plastic bags we had to put on our shoes so the carpet/marble doesn’t get spoiled. Seeing how the sultans or kings/queens lived was exciting because we climbed steep staircases, walked through narrow corridors and saw bathrooms that were foreign to us! The best part of this—as adults we saw everything we wanted, but through his eyes!
Money – Numbers and computing are important to a child at this age, and what better way to learn it than by trying to learn what something costs in dollars. He realized that the dollar is not the only currency, he saw us bargain, and while making purchases for his teachers, he also learned the value of things. A small anecdote: He found a lamp that he wanted for his room. Upon arriving we tried to fix it, but it was slightly damaged. The response he gave: “It’s a good thing you asked them to bring down the price.”
At the end of the trip, his final words were “Turkey is cool.” And a reminder to me that in essence travel is exploration of a new place. When done with children it may initially seem unsettling because it gets in the way of “our plans,” but if we welcome it, the rewards are endless.
Does your kid want to practice mindfulness? Read this: MINDFULNESS MEDITATIONS FOR KIDS: An excerpt from Yoga for Children>>
