我曾经遇到一名网约车Lyft乘客，他评价国家的某位前领导人：“他发表的一个言论惹了众怒，还大力鼓吹。我想我从来没有听到过他为此道歉。"
我得承认一些我不引以为豪的东西。
I’d been watching an episode of Master of None. Most of it took place in almost total silence. Two deaf girls (twin sisters) were communicating by signing, with subtitles on the screen to convey what each was saying. In the absence of talking, I noticed myself starting to feel relaxed.
It’s important that you know I am a noise-sensitive person. Loud noises like motorcycles and children crying in public create an almost viscerally negative full-body reaction. I wish this wasn’t the case, and mindfulness has helped me, but the noise sensitivity persists.
我的思想本可以用“我感觉很放松"这样的观点停下来。然而，它却像个任性的孩子一样，继续产生另一个想法，然后再来一个。最后，它的结束语是："永远不用面对巨大的噪音，有时似乎会很放松。"
这种不敏感的想法一旦出现，我就会立刻把自己从这个想法中拉回来。
本来聪明的人有时会说无知的话。有时它是由不安全感激发的。其它时候，它仅仅是出于不经意，没有任何恶意。例如，我听过的一个播客主播曾开玩笑地猜测，如果他无家可归，他会感到多么自由（"我不必担心要维护房子或支付贷款"）。尽管我知道他只是在开玩笑，但这仍是个语气不善的例子。
情绪垃圾桶
我经常想，为了保住面子，人们为无意义的有害言论辩护，人类是怎样走到那一步的？
如果追踪我的思想路径，可以发现第一个 "思想 "始于观察，"我现在感觉很放松"。对我内心状态的观察为进一步的想法奠定了基础。一个接一个，形成了一条心理路径，我的思想沿着它前进。最后，它到达了垃圾桶，结论就在堆积的垃圾之上，滋生了大量的苍蝇。
有些人正走着与我上面描述相似的思想道路。他们在类似的垃圾桶前徘徊，但没有停下来，而是直接跳进去。
当我意识到这种情况正在发生，我慢慢地让自己走回到初始的观察中，“我看到这一幕时感到放松”，然后停留在那里。
我对上述问题的回答就是，我觉得有些人正走着与上面描述相似的思想道路。他们在类似的垃圾桶前徘徊，但没有停下来，而是直接跳进去。
有些人并没有兴致想在进去之前把自己抓住。他们并不质疑自己的垃圾想法。他们想着无知的事情，用语言表达出来，然后拒绝把自己带回来。他们继续为自己辩护，不承认大脑在一天中会产生各种各样的胡言乱语，不承认并非所有的胡言乱语都值得在推特上发布。
我国某位前领导人可能是最突出的例子，他不仅编造垃圾思想，还义无反顾地捍卫、支持和传播这些思想。
To bring it back: We can try to just remember that the human mind is the landing pad for thousands of thoughts every day, many of which are nonsense. This doesn’t mean we have to feel guilty for having them. By their very nature, thoughts and feelings that spontaneously enter our minds without warning are beyond our control.
What we can control is whether we act on them. It’s our choice to either pursue or ignore a thought. We can also choose how we behave in response to them. As Gavin Edwards wrote in his book Kindness and Wonder (based on the life of Fred Rogers), “Lady Aberlin assures X the owl that when he has angry thoughts, they don’t hurt anybody—only actions do. ‘That man didn’t shoot the other man just by thinking about it,’ she tells him.”
The mere arrival of negative thoughts sometimes ignites a flicker of brief shame, but I realize that the difference now is that I don’t act on them. That to me is something worth celebrating and acknowledging. After all, it’s how we respond to our feelings that matters more than whether we have them. So be gentle and kind with yourself.
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图1 Małgorzata Tomczak 来自 Pixabay 2 图片由 -Rita-👩🍳 und 📷 mit ❤ 来自 Pixabay
