I believe part of living our best life is to have a strong personal spiritual connection that is active and vibrant. Many recent studies show the power of a strong spiritual connection. It can also be a way to connect and help others. I encourage you to reimagine your spiritual connection over the next few stories.
I grew up in a Christian family, and we attended a Lutheran church. I’m not sure I’d say I “got to” attend, more often finding myself “having to.” As I headed off to college, I’d learned what to believe, but not really “why” I believed it. I was embarrassed in my freshman religion class when I was the only one to raise my hand and say I believed Adam and Eve were real people. It sent me astray, and for years I had an ambivalent “whatever works best for you” attitude.
Faith and finding a church
JP and I were engaged by the time we finished graduate school. We moved to Columbia, Maryland, and planned to be there for a significant amount of time, as we both enjoyed the hospitals where we were working. JP grew up Catholic, and I grew up attending a Lutheran church.
We went to a few Catholic and Lutheran churches, but we didn’t seem to find our fit. We continued to try other churches and found Grace Community Church. It reminded me of the casual get-togethers we had at Iowa State with the Fellowship of Christian Athletes, where I’d play guitar and we’d sing praise songs. It was a lot of fun, and I loved the energy of the contemporary songs.
The first time we were at Grace Community Church, a couple literally tapped us on the back and asked if we’d be interested in a small group Bible study. They said they were putting together a young couples Bible study and invited us to join. We got together with three other couples. They were all transplants from out of state and new to Maryland. It was common with politics, armed services, health care and education that people would move to Baltimore and D.C. from many other parts of the country.
We met weekly, and we all learned how to take our store-bought desserts and put them on a plate or platter to make them look homemade. I did make a bright green homemade pumpkin pie for Saint Patty’s Day one year, and that was almost inedible due to the bright green colour of the pumpkin. No takers!
JP and I will be forever grateful for that simple tap on the shoulder by Debbie and Rich McGuire, asking us to join, and as we got to know their mentors, Paul and Susan Watson.
The time with them helped push me from being a Christian because I grew up in the faith to someone who was confident in my beliefs and was finally starting to see that life was more than jobs, titles, competition and material things. It was the very beginning and probably some of the very first conversations about who I was, who I wanted to be and what gifts God had given me. There was a calm when we were together, and it became a time that I looked forward to during our busy weeks.
We were pushed to do memory verses, and even as adults we’d get together and partner off every week to work on our scripture verses. This was old school to me, as I had memory work through seventh grade, but instead of just memorizing them, Rich and Debbie would spend time on the words and talking about which type of situations they can be useful in. They would have them be a living part of us and not simply a formula memorized to check the box.
I’m still memorizing these verses and others today, and I have more than 100 that I rotate through. I consider them a gift.
A broader spiritual perspective
The time in this study, before we had children and when we were living in Maryland, coincided with a unique opportunity at Johns Hopkins. We were meeting friends and co-workers from all over the country, many with diverse backgrounds. Unlike graduate school, it was a time of genuine appreciation for the people I was with, and I finally was opening my mind and heart to people from many different backgrounds.
I had close friends who were Muslim, many years older than me, gay and lesbian, different races. It felt good getting to know who they were and what was important to them, and to witness how they enjoyed life. It wasn’t specifically spiritual, but there was a strong human connection.
I’d grown up in a great Christian environment, but it didn’t necessarily help me appreciate and feel comfortable experiencing other faiths. My good friend John and his wife, Pam, introduced me more broadly to spirituality instead of religion. I’m grateful for this initial awakening, as it actually strengthened my Christian faith and helped me to be moved by and supportive of other faith and spiritual traditions.
My good friend John and his wife, Pam, introduced me more broadly to spirituality instead of religion. I’m grateful for this initial awakening.
We had the opportunity to go with them to Washington, D.C., to attend a service with Tibetan monks connected to the Dalai Lama. I’m not certain of the direct connection, but I didn’t understand at the time how unique and special the evening was. We were in their presence, witnessing their traditions, and openly seeing how they committed themselves to their strict spiritual practices.
My close friend Shah, who was Muslim by background, introduced to me kindness, openness and mutual respect through food, music, movies and times together. We grew close over kabobs, authentic Afghan cuisine, the merits of the wise insights of System of a Down, the creative genius of Eminem, and the artistic mastery of movies like The Big Lebowski и Hurlyburly. I’ve since come to admire the poet Rumi and find his words inspirational.
My co-worker Warren, who grew up in South Africa, was Jewish and had been struck by lightning so significantly that it removed all the cartilage in his knees. He often graciously let us know about holidays he was celebrating and the meanings behind them and how the customs connect generations. JP and I both liked spending time with Warren, because we knew he would push us in subtle ways. We love sushi, but yet with Warren we were always trying things we never imagined ordering.
We’d continue our friendship for many years, and he famously hosted us in New Orleans. He planned the days meticulously to show us the very best of the city and managed to blow the minds of our young children after the team at the Commander’s Palace brought out all eight decadent desserts at once for the table to share. It was incredible to me, and I can’t imagine how it must have felt for two children less than 10 years old.
The personal connection and friendship to people from different spiritualities paradoxically helped me grow in my own faith and be much more accepting and admire the spirituality in other people. The opportunity to grow in my own faith would continue, and it also began to open up how practices from other spiritualities could be adopted and appreciated.
My spiritual journey continues
I’ve been fortunate to work in faith-based health care for more than 15 years, and I appreciate the spirituality of the Sisters of Saint Joseph of Orange. They’re a unique group of sisters who started in Le Puy, France, in 1650 and were some of the first in the world to go out into the communities they served. They have a culture of inclusiveness and a strong spirituality that heals the body, the mind and the spirit.
As we moved and settled in Orange, California in 2012, we found Saint John’s Lutheran Church in Orange to be just right for us. It offered the traditional services and contemporary services with Pastor Tim Klinkenberg and pastors who speak of forgiveness and welcoming people from all over.
I think this is an area on my personal Life Gauge that I watch closely, as it seems to fluctuate. It’s helpful to be aware of it, and then through books, conversations, prayer, meditation, travel, song and studies, I can be reinvigorated.
My spiritual journey continues to evolve. It has changed from something that I felt like I had to do to something that is personal and moving. The perspectives from other faiths and personal practices have renewed my hunger to keep re-energizing my faith and also make it an active part of conversation with others. It doesn’t come from a perspective of conversion or my faith being right or best, but much more from it being a core to us as humans and something that can be deeply moving and inspiring.
Dr. Jeremy Zoch, author of Life Lived Well: A Collection of Tips, Insights, and Inspirations to Live Not a Great Life, But Your Best Life, is an executive, teacher, ultra-athlete, musician, father, husband and spiritual person whose life journey has made him a relentless advocate for health and life. Jeremy has worked at leading healthcare institutions, including Johns Hopkins, Mayo Health Systems, University of Maryland, BJC Health System and Dignity Health. He was CEO of Providence St. Joseph Hospital and he’s also a former Adjunct Instructor at the University of Southern California.
This is excerpted from Life Lived Well: A Collection of Tips, Insights, and Inspirations to Live Not a Great Life, But Your Best Life, by Jeremy Zoch, Ph.D.
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