AGENCY PERSONIFIED: An interview with social justice activist Mary Ellen Ratcliff

My wife and I live in a very large senior living development in the San Francisco Bay Area called Rossmoor. There are around 9,000 people living on some 1,800 acres (about 728 hectares), mostly on hills that slope up from a valley that is now a golf course. The Native American Saklan tribe lived here long ago.

There is a certain three-way intersection that everyone who enters or leaves Rossmoor passes. On a corner of that intersection, a longtime resident named Mary Ellen Ratcliff has stood for two hours each day, five days a week, since shortly after the murder of George Floyd, 2.5 years ago. Along with her various signs there is always a flag of Earth seen from space, “because for me, we are all earthlings first.” She often wears blue and yellow to support Ukraine. Lately, she has worn all black to grieve for victims of shootings.

From early on, I felt an affinity with this lone “activist”, but—as the discussion below details, towards its end—it took me quite a while to actually approach her and find out more about what she’s trying to do and how she sees the world.

I’m glad I finally did! Here’s a conversation we had on Sunday, November 27, after her two hours of “holding the space.”

MR: Mary Ellen, do you have a name for what you do? In the questions I wrote down, I used the word “witnessing.”

MER: [laughing] I do. It’s my “office hours.” It lends pleasant structure and cheerful therapy to my days. No one is more surprised than I am that this has lasted this long. I’ve just kept it up week by week, no shoulds. I’m addicted now to quietly holding the space for good change.

MR: Ah! Well put. Could you just start by telling the story of how it got started and all that? It started shortly after George Floyd‘s murder, if I recall.

MER: Yes. I don’t watch the news, but I was sucked into that vortex of energy. I was mortified to see the casualness of the scene, the man squatting, relaxing and chatting with his knee on George’s neck, ignoring “I can’t breathe!” Flip to scenes of the thrilling upsurge of people all over the world, who swarmed the streets and said, “No!” It sure got me off the couch. Rossmoor diversity groups held three Sunday vigils, and that felt wonderful!

The next Sunday, I pondered, “I don’t feel done. How would it feel to be just one person, making a difference?” So I tried it. And as I said in my Rossmoor News article, the immediate exuberant “Yes, Ma’am!” responses were thrilling. This ‘pop-up club’ took shape and I was hooked. I felt brave! And useful! And not hopeless! You know, because we could see each other out there, on the same page, so to speak.

MR: And then, at some point, you expanded the precise focus to other issues. I remember that at a certain point you wore Ukrainian flag colours, and things like that. Can you talk a little about that?

MER: At first it was Black Lives Matter, because I was stuck in the “us/them” dichotomy, but it has slowly morphed into everybody of colour, and everybody who’s oppressed. Too many of us don’t have the freedoms and justice for all that that our nation so arrogantly boasts.

So, these days, my work is much more humankind-oriented. I’ve been horrified at injustices my whole life. It really feels good to be more involved. I just want more of the good stuff for everyone. I no longer keep all the diverse unfair issues separate. It just all bubbles up in me as, “We can make changes. We can learn to think differently and see differently and make great changes.”

MR: The sign you had today says…?

MER: “EQUITY and KINDNESS,” and a big red diagonal line to X out “HATE AND BLAME.” This one came back because of the recent mass shootings, I’m also wearing black in mourning and bring a small offering of flowers. I also really like “Just Notice Privilege” and “More Wagging, Less Snarling,” when life is more settled.

MR: Are you hopeful?

MER: Oh yes.

MR: Can you talk about that a little bit?

MER: Well, thank you engineer Dad and creative Mom, I have the heaven-and-hell talent of seeing possibilities in a blink! I can just see, “If we just tweak that little bit, it would be … we could fix some things!” My favourite part of myself is my pure little seven-year-old child’s heart, and she sees things really simply. I try to live there.

Add to that, I read somewhere: Be careful what you think about a lot, because spirit thinks you want more of that. So my internal work is to remember always to expect good things and envision good outcomes, and know deeply that people are basically good inside.

And so, on some level, I feel like I’ve been able to kind of float above the chaos of the details, and the time suck, and the deep dread feelings. I choose the upside. Sometimes angst kind of swoops over me, but I can usually snap out of it pretty fast.

MR: Yes!

MER: It feels like the grownups aren’t doing … good enough!

MR: That’s a very good way to put it! Have you thought of ever going anywhere else, outside of Rossmoor?

MER: Well, doing it here feels easy, potent and nourishing. And just the right amount of quirkiness.

MR: You hadn’t participated in demonstrations or anything, before?

MER: Well, I graduated in ’60, I would have been the right age to do that, but I was way too timid. I do remember that I dubiously accompanied a good friend to the Occupy Walnut Creek energy on Tiffany’s corner back in 2012. That was a first for me and I had a wonderful time. Wasn’t that when corporations got the vote? I found some focus and my voice there. My sign got a lot of thumbs up and laughs.

Nowadays, I love to show my vote proudly, not waiting for an election. It’s just claiming a space and sticking to it. With all my signs, I’ve been trying to guess the phrases that would help people kind of turn that corner, to tweak their attitudes, to see the humanity in every soul and notice the greed and privilege in our zeitgeist.

MR: People here need to see the message because we just forget it in daily life, I suppose.

MER: Yeah, so any ripples towards more fairness are just fine with me. Yay or nay, I’m pleased at the discussions generated. A few signal that I should just go home, and a few want to tell me they’re upset. One man I’ve come to enjoy mimes broad yawning and looks to see me see him. Ha.

MR: Oh, wow, that’s interesting. You haven’t actually been seriously threatened, have you?

MER: Not at all. I’m able to just focus and listen and say, “You’re probably right,” and I just don’t take any of it personally. It simplifies things greatly to ignore the negative and even the non-commital.

I’m pretty determined to stop playing the “Ain’t It Awful” game. I weep for all of us folks working so hard for years and years, keeping careful lists of all that’s wrong in the world, thinking we were good grownups and actually helping. Not!

MR: Did you take a vacation? I think I saw you less at one point.

MER: I try to keep consistent, I take Mondays and Tuesdays off and I miss seeing some regulars when I changed my time slot; but in general, I’ve been able to be there every day on time, all this time, which is pretty amazing.

MR: It is pretty amazing!

MER: I’m trying to carve out some time to go to Nevada to visit my kids. So I’m beginning to flirt with missing a day or two.

MR: Get a substitute, like a teacher!

MER: I wondered about that! I’d be pleased if somebody else wanted to step up, to stand up, because holding the space is the deal. Each new one may fill in the blank as to their favourite issue of the day.

MR: Do you have a background as a Quaker or some other religious group? Were you raised [laughs], I guess with a conscience [both laugh], is what I’m trying to say?!

MER: Yes, the focus was to “do unto others,” but I sort of hid from any political stuff. I do remember deep, hopeless grief when Kennedy was shot, and each assassination, like Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. But I felt, you know, “little tiny me”! Mortally wounded along with the world, and no help at hand.

MR: Tell that story again that you told me before, about rewriting your story … the little girl…

MER: Oh, yes! Mom. I didn’t have permission—well, how will I say this? Whenever I had the healthy urge to say, “Mommy, Mommy, look at me!” I would get what felt like a withering glare because I was interrupting her conversation. Now, that may be totally false, but that’s what my little child felt. 

And so, the perfect punchline that came to me recently is that Daddy was sort of a quiet, fair-minded Atticus Finch type guy, and Mom was an Auntie Mame type, and I’ve found a blend of both of those, you know, and I’ve inadvertently created this space for myself, where I can stand there quietly and people I like are saying, “Look, look, there she is again!” [laugh]

MR: Cool! [laughs]

MER: So it’s a goes-around, comes-around funny thing that’s just come into focus in the last few weeks.

MR: I guess you’ve gone through a lot standing there, God knows how many hours. I guess your mind goes through a lot!

MER: Yes, sir. I keep busy practicing my audacious habits of thinking.

MR: And we’ve all, I mean, I have a history with you, because I would honk at first, and then I just sort of went back to business as usual and I’d just drive past. And it occurred to me as long as six months ago, maybe longer, I should talk to her, there’s an article in this if nothing else, and I could learn a lot, because, you know, I have similar values. Every four years when they have the Democratic Convention, I get enthused at the things that they say there, because some people have called it the “Social Gospel,” because it’s all based on Jesus’ saying, “Whatever you do unto the least of these, you do unto Me.”

MER: Amen.

MR: So that’s what I love to see represented anywhere. And I felt, you know, an affinity with what you’re doing, and I wondered what kind of response Rossmoor is giving you. But there was always something—making excuses, because, well, you know, it feels threatening in a way. It’s a new thing to approach a person you never met! I’d always drive by and say, “I don’t have time now, I gotta do this… .” So then, a few days ago [both laughing], I just couldn’t live with myself any longer unless I did it. So I did.

MER: Kudos. You actually walked over, which is a big deal, I mean, to me. It’s only a block or so, but I’m always honoured when somebody does that. So thank you.

MR: And I’m so glad I did! The first time I saw you, I felt, well, we must have a lot in common. And so now I’ve learned more about the background of that!

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image 2: Викисклад; all other images: Max Reif