The translation of memento mori from Latin to English and the deep consideration of its meaning is the last thing many people would like to do. They find the thought of death—their own or anyone else’s—depressing and sad. It creates fear in some and deep dread in others. So, death gets pushed to the back of the brain while they live as if their life will go on forever.
The phrase in itself tells us about the way humans go about their lives, as if their days will never come to an end. We need to remember that we will die because forgetting that undeniable fact is something many of us do. But refusing to consider it doesn’t make it any less real. Happiness isn’t found in ignoring the truth of human existence.
For Stoics, our own death is a daily thought that converts to fuel for one’s life. It’s a stark reminder that time isn’t infinite for any of us and that we must find a purpose in our lives and accomplish our goals while we can.
However, that doesn’t mean Stoics rush to do as much as possible, filling our days with To-Do lists and feeling bad if we don’t quickly complete everything on them. Rest is important. Reflection is necessary. Hurrying to the finish line isn’t the key.
Rather, memento mori is an incentive to remain in the present moment and think about the future. And to ask ourselves questions. What are my goals? What’s meaningful to me? What’s not meaningful that I can eliminate from my life? If my life were to end today, would I be satisfied with it?
What’s the biggest mistake we make in life?
The biggest mistake is, you think you have time.
This quote is commonly attributed to the Buddha, although there are some doubts about whether he said it or if it should be attributed to Jack Kornfield instead.
Memento mori is believed to have originated in ancient Rome, but it’s been paraphrased in many ways since then:
- “Carpe diem—seize the day!”
- “Strike while the iron is hot!”
- “You only live once—YOLO.”
So, how does this manifest in daily life? It’s definitely not like Saturday Night Live’s Debbie Downer character, who interrupted every conversation to inject a maudlin thought or fact. A Stoic who remains acutely aware of their own pending death has a greater focus on the moment. They live in a state of gratitude and appreciation for even the simplest things in life that not everyone on this planet is privileged enough to experience: a warm bed, enough food, a loving family.
Some people use physical reminders. They carry a coin engraved with memento mori in their pocket or wear one as a pendant around their neck. They wear a T-shirt with the phrase, and typically a skull graphic. It’s written on folk-art signs, it’s engraved in mirrors and it can appear just about anywhere you’d like to write it.
A friend posts it as a Facebook message once a week. Others meditate on the subject and read the journals of Marcus Aurelius. It doesn’t matter how it’s remembered, as long as it regularly returns to the Stoic’s consciousness.
People and relationships matter
Regardless of your choice of faith or your belief (or lack thereof) in an afterlife and what that might look like, memento mori applies to each of us. Wealth, a collection of stuff and any prestige we have acquired is rendered meaningless upon our death—except, perhaps, when it comes to how many people will attend our funeral. However, that’s still meaningless—to us.
There are many ways that remembering you must die can have a positive influence on your life.
It reminds us that life is a gift. It doesn’t matter to whom you attribute that gift; we all know of people whose lives have ended uncommonly early. We are truly lucky to have the time we have on Earth, however long that is.
Memento mori reminds us that there might not be enough time to do everything we want to do. This helps us prioritize and organize our lives and devote our time to meaningful pursuits.
It reminds us that people and relationships matter, and the ones that matter most are worth preserving. That could mean that you’re the one to settle a disagreement with a family member, even when you don’t think you were in the wrong—because right and wrong mean nothing when weighed against the knowledge that they could die or you could die. Is it better to be right but to have to live with regret? This type of feud will also serve as an example of the kind of situation to actively avoid in the future. You can opt out of disagreements.
Memento mori also reminds us to not let our ethics and values slide, even for one day or one moment. It reminds us to be honest and virtuous in everything we do, no matter the situation’s size or value. To be consistent in our dealings with others, and true to our ideals in the way we conduct ourselves.
Not only did I used to fear death, but I’d avoid any discussion about it, as it conjured up deep feelings of anxiety. Eventually, I found wisdom in the concept of facing one’s fear. Now, as I regularly consider memento mori, I feel power instead of fear, and it has focused my intentions on what I want to contribute to this world. Vain thoughts of my former attention-seeking self have revealed themselves as petty and they’ve fallen away. My priorities are clear.
I’m not all the way there; I still stumble and mess up and notice many opportunities for personal improvement. But like a toddler falling off a tricycle they’re learning to ride, the upshot isn’t how many times you fall. It’s that you get back up and try again. Because memento mori.
«قراءة ذات صلة» STOIC IN TRAINING: Let them»
image 1: Pexelsالصورة 2: Gerd Altmann
