The holiday season is upon us, and for many parents, the festivities bring a mix of joy, excitement and perhaps a touch of stress. As a parent without the luxury of a support village, I find it’s easy to feel very overwhelmed each year by the demands of the season.
The holidays also come with conflicting feelings. On the one hand, as my kids go from babies to infants to toddlers and young children, seeing the enthusiasm and twinkle in their eye that reminds us of the magic of the holiday spirit is truly gratifying and contagious. On the other hand, having close family abroad and unable to share in that spirit in person with them and/or having family that is estranged can feel very disheartening and difficult each year.
Then, mix in managing family and professional obligations and braving the flu season (this year was tough man!), the challenges can seem insurmountable. But fear not, fellow parent, for you’re not alone on this journey, and there are strategies to help you not just survive, but thrive during the holidays.
Embracing solo strength
It’s OK to acknowledge that you don’t have a village to rely on (even if it sucks to come to this realization sometimes). While others may have extended family or a robust support system present, you’re not defined by the absence of such. Instead, embrace the uniqueness of your solo adventure, and if you have a partner, find ways to rely on each other and divvy up tasks as a team.
Recognize that you’re crafting your own holiday traditions while sometimes working hard to break traumatic generational cycles.
There are also other people that may not be “blood family,” but are family just the same, and sometimes we have to create our own villages with loving friends who embrace us as we are and are healthy influences in our lives.
Recognize that you’re crafting your own holiday traditions while sometimes working hard to break traumatic generational cycles in order to help your children thrive later in life.
Recognize that you’re also creating memories that are uniquely yours and your children’s. If there is one thing my husband and I have learned throughout these past holiday seasons, it’s that we’ve managed to work really well together as a team and create unique family traditions our kids will remember much more down the line than a big “holiday party” with many adults they may grow to love, of course, but don’t necessarily remember when they’re little.
Moreover, the greatest joy your kids can have is the gift of your presence. Often, their parent being there, connecting with them for some quality time together, is all they really need and want.
Setting realistic expectations
Take a deep breath and set realistic expectations for yourself. You don’t have to do it all, and as the Resident Perfectionist in my family, I can confirm that this is an unachievable goal that eventually takes away from letting you and everyone in the family simply enjoy this time and rest—in the end, if things aren’t perfect, it’ll be just fine!
Instead, identify your top priorities for the season and focus on those. It’s better to have a handful of meaningful experiences than to spread yourself too thin. Let go of perfection and embrace the imperfect beauty of your celebrations.
Navigating family obligations
Family obligations can be a source of both joy and stress during the holidays. Communicate openly with your family about your limitations and set boundaries. It’s OK to say no when necessary and prioritize the well-being of your immediate family. Remember, the holidays are about quality time, not quantity.
Surviving flu season
Flu season can add an extra layer of stress, especially for parents navigating the holidays solo or with very limited support. Prioritize preventive measures such as hand-washing, flu shots and maintaining an overall healthy lifestyle. Communicate with your children about the importance of hygiene and be proactive in seeking medical attention if anyone falls ill. Taking these steps can help you navigate the flu season with confidence.
And for those of us who did everything ‘right’ and still got sick (little kids are little petri dishes, in my experience! ha-ha), focus on rest and boosting your immune system whenever possible. I like to survive the weeks of illnesses by reminding myself that this too shall pass, and we won’t be sick forever!
Practicing self-care and mindfulness
In the midst of holiday chaos, don’t forget to prioritize self-care. Schedule moments of rest and rejuvenation, even if they’re brief. Whether it’s a quiet cup of tea, a short walk or a few minutes of meditation, these moments can make a significant difference in your well-being. Just five minutes of breath work can help you regulate and reset and go a long way, even if it doesn’t feel that way in the heat of the moment. Practice mindfulness by being present in the moment, savouring the positive experiences and letting go of unnecessary stressors.
Building your virtual village
While you may not have a physical village nearby, don’t underestimate the power of a virtual village. Reach out to friends (as mentioned before), join online parenting communities and share your experiences. You’ll be surprised to find that sometimes there are many parents feeling the same way you do who are looking for that same sense of belonging and connection in this crazy busy world we live in. Connecting with others who understand your journey can provide a sense of camaraderie, validation and support.
Experiencing the joy of togetherness
Finally, remember that the essence of the holidays lies in the joy of togetherness. Cherish the moments with your children, create simple yet meaningful traditions and focus on the love that binds your family. You’re not alone on this journey, and with resilience, self-compassion and a dash of creativity, you can navigate the holidays with grace and joy.
In the tapestry of parenthood, your unique thread weaves a story of strength, resilience and love. Embrace the challenges, savour the victories and know that you’re crafting a legacy of warmth and connection for your family, one holiday season at a time.
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