If you strive for soul-level fulfillment and want to make the most of your time on this Earth in terms of both enjoyment and evolvement, the heart-centred living model may be perfect for you.
It’s a three-pillar lifestyle design method that I’ve been using for several years now. It came about at a time when I was experiencing depression and a lack of purpose in my life. I secretly envied those who seemed to have it all figured out and were living the “good life.” I even resented them (and life in general), and kept wondering, “Why not me?”
Using the heart-centred living method, I could reinvent myself and reconstruct my life from a place of love. This has profoundly impacted how I live my life, and I believe it’s the key to thriving and evolving daily.
I’d like to share this model with you by explaining what the three pillars are and how you can use them to design a life you truly love.
The 3-pillar lifestyle
Pillar I: Self-actualization
The central pillar of the heart-centred lifestyle design model is self-actualization, which is defined as achieving one’s full potential. It’s more than just potential in terms of goal achievements or using your skills and talents, though—it’s aspiring to attain true fulfillment.
True fulfillment can only be attained by following your heart’s desires, pursuing self-concordant goals and living a life that’s true to yourself. It cannot be achieved by chasing goals that come from a place of ego or conditioning.
As Oprah Winfrey said, “You will find true success and happiness if you have only one goal … to fulfill the highest, most truthful expression of yourself.”
One of the biggest challenges in pursuing self-actualization is differentiating our authentic desires from our ego’s “wants” and from the ideas that society instilled in us that may not align with our truth.
Here’s how you can begin clarifying what you truly want:
- Write down what you want to have, accomplish, experience and become in the next two to five years.
- Then, for each thing, write down why you want it. Ask yourself “why” five times, to go deeper.
- Look at the reasons why you want each thing. Is it because it makes you feel important, finally worthy, or superior to others? That’s the ego. Is it because society and perhaps your parents told you that it’s what you should do? That’s conditioning. Is it because it makes you feel alive, energized, inspired and expansive? That’s your heart.
It’s essential to make this distinction because, again, choosing and pursuing a path based on the ego rarely leads to lasting happiness. We end up feeling confused and empty inside.
Similarly, if we live based on other people’s expectations, we may wake up one day realizing that we climbed the wrong ladder and regret not doing what we love. We even risk feeling resentful toward those who influenced our life choices.
To prevent this from happening, we must bring more awareness to the choices we make and question those choices. You may ask yourself:
- “Am I being true to myself and my values in making this decision (listening to your true self) or am I following popular advice (conditioning)?”
- “Am I on a career path because I love the work involved (your heart’s desires) or because of the money and social status (the ego’s ‘wants’)?”
- “Am I in a relationship because I feel like I’m growing and evolving alongside my partner (your authentic self) or because I’m afraid to be alone (the ego’s fear)?”
Achieving self-actualization requires defining what matters to you, choosing to live in alignment with your values, doing more of the things that bring you joy and put you in a state of flow, and following your curiosity.
Pillar II: Self-transcendence
Another essential element of the heart-centred living model is self-transcendence. It’s about understanding and acknowledging that everything is interconnected—that we are part of a greater whole—and acting accordingly.
Self-transcendence ties into how we contribute, provide a service or make an impact on others. True fulfillment will generally be found once we figure out what we do best to contribute to society or those around us in some way. There are infinite ways you can bring value to others.
For example, raising a child to become a kind and loving human is valuable to society. Working as a waiter and ensuring that each customer leaves the restaurant feeling a bit happier is also an act of service. Hosting a podcast that empowers people is another way to make a positive contribution to the collective.
Your greatest contribution comes from sharing your gifts—your natural strengths and talents—so that others can experience them. An almost guaranteed way to attain soul-level fulfillment is to utilize your gifts to better the world and the lives of others in ways that are enjoyable to you.
Here are a few ways you can embrace self-transcendence:
- Reflect on your preferred way to contribute and try to find at least one opportunity every day to serve the collective in that way. It may be helpful to think of an action verb, such as to create, lead, facilitate change, nurture, delight, spread joy, solve problems, motivate, inspire, embellish or teach. Every morning, ask yourself, “How will I delight (or whatever your preferred way to contribute is) today?”
- You could also begin each day with the question, “What’s one act of kindness I will do today?” Perhaps it’s to prepare your kid his favorite lunch; write a nice comment on someone’s TikTok video; or take the trash out, even if it’s not your week.
- Another way to embrace self-transcendence is to make more room for your spiritual practice, so you can deepen your sense of connectedness to all beings.
Pillar III: Self-appreciation
The last pillar is self-appreciation—including self-respect, self-compassion and self-acceptance. It’s about treating yourself as you would treat your best friend.
Self-love is essential for self-actualization and soul-level fulfillment. When we don’t love ourselves, we often sabotage our success and happiness (unconsciously), believing that we don’t deserve it.
In a recent interview на сайте The School of Greatness podcast, Bruce Lipton, Ph.D., stated that the number one thing preventing people from living the life of their dreams is that they don’t love themselves (either entirely or just not enough). He said that more than 80 percent of the people he tested through muscle testing didn’t love themselves.
Here are a couple of ideas to help you cultivate greater self-appreciation:
- Try the mirror exercise for 30 days.
This exercise, although cringy, is perhaps one of the most powerful ways to cultivate self-appreciation. In the evening, stand in front of the mirror and—looking yourself in the eyes—say, “I love you, [your name]. I love that you [say three things you like about yourself or did well that day], and you deserve all the good things life has to offer.” This one-minute exercise changed my life, and I’m convinced it can do the same for you. - Schedule self-care daily.
Self-care is one of the most practical ways we can show self-respect. The key to making self-care work—especially if you’re busy—is to schedule it. Schedule meditation, Yoga, breathing exercises or walks in the park. Every morning, ask yourself, “What’s one thing I will do to improve my well-being today?” Over time, by adding even just one small self-care activity into your day, it’ll become a habit.
In the end, it’s about love
We can make lists of things we want to accomplish this year or in our lifetime, but if these things don’t align with our authentic selves, they won’t make us truly happy in the long run. True, soul-level fulfillment comes from love: doing things we love, loving ourselves and being loving towards others. Living by this model profoundly changed my life, and I hope it’ll serve you well, too.
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фото 1 Vicki Hamilton с Pixabay 2 изображение за Дарья Будич с Pixabay 3 изображение за Med Ahabchane с Pixabay 4 изображение по S. Герман и Ф. Рихтер с Pixabay
