Children process trauma differently than adults, but that doesn’t mean their fears and insecurities are less valid. Without time to heal from trauma, these precious little ones often endure repeated behavioural issues throughout life. They’re more prone to making poor choices than their peers, and they may suffer more significant physical health woes than others.
How can you heal a child when you can’t communicate with them on the level adults use for traditional talk therapy? You can shift down to their level and allow them to express themselves the way they do best—through play.
What is play therapy and why is it used?
Children and adults need to bridge a communication gap, which extends beyond the fact that kids lack an extended vocabulary. They also experience the world differently. Think about it—your child inhabits a planet of giants where everything looms larger than they do.
Adults often misinterpret their little one’s verbal and non-verbal cues or miss them entirely. They may think, for example, that a child is indicating they’re hungry when they’re trying to express emotional pain.
During play therapy, the counsellor gets down on the child’s level, observing their play to learn the child’s language. As they watch, they take note of behavioural patterns in how the child expresses themselves. They can also pick up on signs of mental disorders. For example, ADHD tends to manifest as memory problems and a lack of focus in adults. Children, however, tend to behave impulsively and with hyperactivity.
As the child relaxes in the presence of the therapist, they begin to establish trust. The confidence a patient has in their therapist directly impacts the effectiveness of their protocol. The formation of a secure attachment with the psychologist leads to a more significant reduction in the child’s distress.
After thorough observations, counsellors can tailor their treatment plan to the youth’s individualized needs. If you’re taking your kid to professional treatment, their specialist will advise you about how to continue their regimen at home. However, if you lack health insurance coverage or don’t feel like your child warrants professional intervention, you can incorporate the following techniques into your routine.
7 ideas for fun and effective play therapy
Incorporate these play therapy techniques into the time you spend with your child, even if they haven’t suffered a traumatic event, as it will strengthen your bond. These practices also help children cope during trying times.
Sensory games
Sensory games involve using the five senses to perceive what’s around you. This type of play forms the basis of mindfulness, as your child will be learning how to observe the world as it is at the present moment.
If you’re in the mood to get muddy, go out and make some “pies” in the backyard with your little one. You can also get them involved in gardening when the weather warms. This activity serves a dual purpose—it empowers them to explore the environment with their senses, and it teaches them to nurture living things.
Maybe you don’t feel like dirtying up your white rugs when you come inside. No problem! You can use the following household materials for clean sensory play:
Rice: These tiny grains build fine motor co-ordination.
Noodles: No game of pick-up-sticks available? Look in your cupboard!
Dry beans: Use beans in games of chance to teach your kids how to deal with disappointment gracefully.
Silk or satin: Fabrics like satin or silk make excellent choices for dress-up play because they feel heavenly against the skin.
Externalization play
This storytelling technique will allow your child to create a character in their mind who goes through similar experiences to theirs. Use this practice to help children process events like the death of a family member or a close friend moving away. You can make the imaginary character human, or it could be a unicorn or dragon—anything your child desires.
As you craft the story together, identify the stressors the character faces, and work through how to cope in positive ways. For example, your child’s dragon gets bullied at school. Does he fight back? Go to the teacher? Helping your kids work through fictional scenarios will teach them to carry the same behaviours forward in real-life situations.
Bibliotherapy
Bibliotherapy means using books to teach kids lessons about how to cope with uncomfortable life events. Some excellent reads include:
My Yellow Balloon by Tiffany Papageorge: What will Joey do when his best friend, the yellow balloon, slips off his wrist and floats away?
A Terrible Thing Happened by Margaret Holmes: Help your child manage and express their emotions after witnessing a traumatic event.
Whimsy’s Heavy Things by Julie Kraulis: What can you do when heavy thoughts weigh you down? Read this book on processing negative feelings.
Drawing
Children take to art instinctively, and many popular television dramas feature art therapy as a form of treatment for traumatized youth. Even adults find themselves relaxing when they colour a mandala or an outlined picture. It’s best to use techniques like painting your mood in a variety of colours for little artists with clumsy fingers. You can also build collages or craft altars for deceased loved ones.
Dollhouse or puppet play
Playing with dolls and puppets can empower your child to act out challenging scenarios and try different approaches to see what works best —in a safe manner. You can put on a play with dolls to help your child work through anything from bullying to conflicts in family relationships. You can also use this technique when your child has to tell you about something they can’t find the words to say. Let them show you in story form instead!
Feeling faces
This technique will help your child learn to identify the feelings of others and exercise empathy. You can buy commercially produced posters intended for this activity, or draw faces on sheets of paper and poster board. Make flashcards with different emotional words, and ask your kids if they can match the facial expression. For example, include terms like elated y frustrated.
Take this idea one step further when you’re people-watching with your little one. If you witness another child throwing a tantrum at the park, ask your little one to identify how that person is feeling. Then, ask them to brainstorm reasons why the other child is feeling that way. Maybe they don’t want to go home yet, or perhaps somebody damaged their favourite toy.
Desensitization play
Some children have sensory-processing challenges that make them sensitive to particular fabrics or environments. You don’t want to overprotect your little one, but you also can’t force them to do things that cause fear.
Desensitization play involves gradually introducing unpleasant sensations in a positive environment. For instance, if your child is afraid of the dark, you could try staying at the park until the stars appear. Chances are, they’ll have so much fun, they’ll appreciate the extra time—and learn that the night isn’t something to fear.
Healing and thriving through therapeutic play
You can use play therapy to help your child heal from trauma, but there’s no need to reserve it for challenging times. By incorporating the above ideas into your routine, such as drawing and sensory play, you’ll be able to raise your kids into well-adjusted adults.
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