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FIND YOUR WORDS: Sharing our words is a way to give opportunity to others

Last updated: April 9th, 2019

Everyone on Earth uses words in some way

In some capacity, we all know words. Whether it’s by sound, look, feel or gesture, we somehow associate what’s going on within and around us with a word or a collection of effectively strung-together words.

Everyone, everywhere on Earth, uses words. We can communicate with each other through these tangible rudiments that literally convert what’s happening in our heads and hearts into something we can share. Therefore, words connect us. Besides what’s happening in and around us, we can also use them to make sense of what’s happening across the globe.

We can listen to the words—the thoughts—of others. Then, we can compare and contrast our words, the words that exist as a result of what’s happening in our heads and hearts, with others’ words. We can create a dialogue, a discourse between two or more beings that can lead to change.

The key point here is that we can do this, but more often than not, we don’t.

Making my writing public

This is why I’ve decided to make my writing public. By doing so, I’m able to become a participant in that interchange that’s necessary for personal and societal growth.

I got a Winnie-the-Pooh lock and key journal when I was seven years old for Christmas (which is hysterical to read now), and ever since then, I’ve written. I find solace in putting pen to paper. It’s soothing to get what’s in my head out, where I can see it.

I think I’ve always had a hyperactive mind and that’s why writing became not just something I did, but something essential to me remaining level-headed. Well, as level-headed as I can be!

I never shared any of the words I’d written. They were my words and my words alone.

Often, I’ve been honest with people, admitting that I write. But when asked what I write about, I’ve usually just responded with a tongue-tied chuckle and, “nothing important.” Up until recently, I didn’t think my words were worthy of being shared. I didn’t think they would make any sort of difference.

I’ve come to realize I was mistaken. Those words—my words—are important.

They’re important because they animate my thoughts, feelings, attitudes and behaviours. Words are how I make sense of the world and all the chaos that exists within me, and I find personal relief in bringing my words to the surface.

Using our words to express our feelings

I was sitting in a café writing honestly about the distaste I have for my body, and it crossed my mind that maybe, just maybe, others might find relief in the words that were bringing me comfort. I was writing to release harsh feelings and it was working. Perhaps the words I was hiding would ring true for someone else, somewhere else, going through a problem of their own.

No one else on Earth is like me. No one else will have the same thoughts as me. No one will feel the same way I do about anything. No one will interpret things in the exact same way that I do. No one will see the world from my eyes.

Words are a way to divulge our uniqueness, for better or worse. They’re a way for us to express that, hey, I feel like this and here’s why.

Four specific reasons to express ourselves in words

  • People only have the opportunity to listen if we use our words.
  • People only have the opportunity to relate if we use our words.
  • People only have the opportunity to query our perspective if we use our words.
  • People only have the opportunity to recognize their own stance on a particular matter if we use our words—if, by expressing ourselves, we give them the chance to consider that they might see things differently.

We only have the opportunity to talk about things if the things are made known.

Creating opportunity for others through words

Sharing our words is a way to give opportunity to others. If we express what’s happening within us, others are given the opportunity to consider what’s going on inside them.

If we’re going through similar stuff, we can talk about it.

If we’re going through different stuff, we can talk about it.

If we agree, we can talk about it.

If we disagree, we can talk about it.

I have all these journals: pages on pages on pages of written words articulating love, loss, anger, joy, fear, sadness and anxiety. Writing them helped me get through some torturous difficult times—losing family members, breakups, career changes, drunken missteps, cross-country moves, an eating disorder and paralyzing anxiety.

I’m the only one who’s laid eyes on these pages. I’m the only one who’s read how it felt to experience those things in my body. I’m the only one who’s read how I moved through them.

But I’m not the only one facing those struggles. I’m not the only person who’s dated a jerk, hated their body, drank to forget or switched careers in search of a more fulfilling life. I’m not the only one.

So, why did I hide these experiences? Why have I packed my words away, acting as if they don’t, and never did, exist? Why am I not reaching out, connecting with others through experiences that many of us know all too well?

It’s terrifying—yet helpful—to expose yourself

Well, I haven’t reached out because it’s scary. It’s terrifying to expose yourself. Becoming open means you’re just that—open. You’re vulnerable, unguarded and inexperienced at living in this new territory. In the past, I’ve thought about becoming open, but whenever I get close to going there, I retreat to the confines of my solitary journals. I become quiet. I conceal my words.

This is about vowing to stop. It’s about pledging to end the secrecy of my words. I’ll take on the challenge of making my head and heart accessible.

The truth of the matter is that you never know who you’ll benefit by expressing yourself. You never know who in the world will read your words and think “you get it” or, “you’re clueless and you ought to contemplate this.” Either way, it’s meaningful.

The truth of the matter is that our words can make the world a better place. After we make our words known, there are less secrets than there were before, and secrets are one thing that make and keep us sick.

Be heard and listen

I encourage you to find your words. Find your words and make them known, however you can. Don’t be discouraged if there’s backlash, because there almost inevitably will be. Listen to the backlash and view it as fuel for constructive conversation—that pragmatic discourse that the world needs more of.

Your words are important.

Be heard, but also listen.

You … I … us … them … the world … won’t thrive by being silent.

«RELATED READ» THE POWER OF QUOTATION: Why do we enjoy the words of others so much, anyway?»


image: Just Write by Melissa W Edwards via Flickr (CC BY-NC 2.0)
  1. After attending an event yesterday evening I came across your article. The evening was designed to explore the words used in the composition of 4 different songs. One of those songs was mine based on conversations I have had with myself after the loss of a loved one. People expressed how they felt about the song and how receiving information from the writer of how the song came about, lessened or enhanced their experience of the song.

    Like yourself I have always kept a journal where I have poured out my joys and mostly pain across the pages. Last year I felt/heard a voice within me saying I must tell my story. I’m like tell my story? To whom? How? When, where and why? All I could feel was embarrassment as I thought about some of the things that I allowed to happen to me because of my low self- esteem and self worth, when I looked at my life and could see that I had not achieved as I would have liked to. Open and vunerable as you have stated in your article. So, no I have not made a start but her words have caused the words I heard to resurface.

    I am interested in how and where you share your writings.

    1. I relate to this greatly, NB! Thank you for your comment.
      I also hesitated when it came to sharing my stories, my thoughts, my feelings with others because I felt a deep sense of shame and guilt over what I had been through. There was a part of me that didn’t want to admit to others what I’d experienced. Until one day, I heard a similar voice, or maybe it was a feeling or a thought or an idea, I don’t really know exactly, but something inside of me said I ought to share my words, because they could be potentially meaningful to someone else going through something similar.
      I asked myself the same questions when it came to sharing my words – how, when, with who? And when I didn’t know the answers to these questions I hesitated for even longer.
      I don’t think there’s a rule book to sharing your words. I don’t think there’s an easy path. In sharing your stories you essentially make yourself vulnerable. You are taking a risk. It helped me to constantly remind myself that risks can warrant great rewards. Without risk we remain idle. So in making yourself vulnerable you could inspire, motivate and encourage others to be vulnerable and open up. And if the world was more open about their stories, feelings, thoughts and ideas just imagine how different and beautiful the world could be! Ideally, a more accepting place.
      I just started sharing in any way I could – blogging on my own yoga and wellness website, sending in submissions to different websites that covered topics I was interested in and then I slowly started working on the book I have been itching to write for years. I’m still learning, I think I’ll always be learning, but I’m sharing. And I’m blown away every day at how other people connect to my words – my stories.
      Send your story in to websites, magazines, newspapers etc. and whether that article gets accepted or not, send another in. Keep trying, don’t get discouraged. Your words are meaningful and someone somewhere needs them.

  2. I can remember being in some kind of support group meeting, and someone speaking was saying, “I write. But I would never call myself ‘a writer’!” It seems to me that someone who writes IS “a writer.” In a way, it’s different “being published.” (Anne Lamott says in her book BIRD BY BIRD, though, that it’s WRITING that is transformative, not getting published!) One is vulnerable in sharing writing, though. Your piece brought to mind a statement I read once by Allen Ginsberg, the poet, about how he and some of his writer friends dealt with the deep vulnerability. It’s really just a little practical suggestion. Here’s what he said:

    Allen Ginsberg’s suggestion about dealing with vulnerability as a writer:
    ?The parts that embarrass you the most are usually the most interesting poetically, are usually the most naked of all, the rawest, the goofiest, the strangest and the most eccentric and at the same time, most representative, most universal… That was something I learned from Kerouac, which was that spontaneous writing could be embarrassing… The cure for that is to write things down which you will not publish and which you won’t show people. To write secretly… so you can actually be free to say anything you want… It means abandoning being a poet, abandoning your careerism, abandoning even the idea of writing any poetry, really abandoning, giving up as hopeless–abandoning the possibility of really expressing yourself to the nations of the world. Abandoning the idea of being a prophet with honor and dignity, and abandoning the glory of poetry and just settling down in the muck of your own mind… You really have to make a resolution just to write for yourself…, in the sense of not writing to impress yourself, but just writing what your self is saying.”

    1. Thank you so much for your response and wonderful insight, Max!
      Writing was initially, for me, a means of getting what was in my head out onto paper, somewhere where I could really look at it from an open and honest vantage point. Writing down what was happening in my head made it real – it meant I couldn’t escape from it – it was there on paper staring back at me. Journaling moved me through childhood and young adulthood and battles with mental illness. I never considered myself a writer then either.
      But I agree – writing makes you a writer. The writing that only you read is powerful, so unbelievably powerful. I don’t want to make is sound as though we shouldn?t write in this way. Because I think we should ? all of us.
      Ironically I was reading Kerouac’s “On the Road” when I wrote this piece. It?s a story I?ve never read before. As I read, I felt a deep motivation vibrating within, a sort of connection with exactly what he was saying. The road is home for me in so many regards. Living a life ?on the road? mentally, emotionally and at times physically, has caused me to look within and ask myself if I?m happy in the here and now. And if my answer is no I start making changes. One of those changes has been sharing my words in hopes of helping others make changes that could benefit their lives. His words helped me move closer to contentment and I share my words with the sole intention of helping others by making my experiences (the good and the bad) known.
      I don’t think there’s a right and wrong way to be vulnerable. I don?t think there?s a right and wrong way to share your story. What I think is that no matter what it’s going to be hard and no matter what it’s necessary to moving away from where you are currently. And we all need to move ? change. Sometimes being vulnerable to others is what you need. And sometimes it’s exactly what others need – your vulnerability.
      As humans, we connect. And words are connectors. Being a writer means you write – in any capacity in my opinion. What I’ve learned is that sharing your words is important. This might not be through published articles (it could be) but it could also be through conversation, presentation, art, music, poetry. Sharing our stories, in whatever capacity we so choose, makes the world a little more comfortable with vulnerability, which I believe is beneficial for us all. And often, this all starts with the internal work. We might not show that work to others as is, but in writing it we become more knowledgeable about ourselves and this is shared through our everyday thoughts, feelings, attitudes and actions. I hope I?ve articulated that properly haha ? I think that internal work is the first step towards self-discovery and then it?s in our nature to become aligned with who it is we discover, and then it?s within our nature to share this information (our words) with others through various avenues.
      Please know this is my personal perspective and I absolutely respect and value differing perspectives. Different perspectives – personal opinions are really just another means of sharing after all. Just as Allen, yourself and I have done with regard to this piece ?

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