people around a fire

CAUGHT IN A CULT: Australia’s Osho Samaya Ashram is far more than a meditation retreat

Last updated: December 2nd, 2017

Earlier this year, I found myself losing the plot with my mental health in Brisbane, Australia. I ended up getting heavily involved with cocaine, alcohol and a man who got me pregnant.

Catching myself crumbling to pieces after a few months, I said ‘see ya’ to this man and to Brisbane, and went to live at a self-sustainable, community living ashram in the Byron Bay Hinterland that I’d found on Workaway.info.shelf with jars of herbsDetoxing from sex, drugs and alcohol; meditating for 12 hours daily; using compost toilets; going vegan; craving chocolate and tuna; and figuring out what to do with this growing thing inside me was pretty hectic, but I was in the right place to find all the answers, right? Not quite.

This wasn’t the spiritual Kumbaya retreat that was discreetly advertised. I found myself living as part of a cult. The leader controlled everyone’s actions, thoughts and emotions. He told us all (individually) that we were impure, that we were self-hating zombies of society and that we had to devote ourselves to the ashram.

[su_pullquote align=”right”]One night, he told us we were all brothers and sisters, and the next night, he told us all to make love to each other.[/su_pullquote]

He contradicted himself all the time. For example, one night, he told us we were all brothers and sisters, and the next night, he told us all to make love to each other. We were all covered in self-inflicted scars, all immensely fragile and some of us, myself included, seriously needed to be in a psychiatric ward. We’d come to find peace in nature and meditation, but this was an insanely unhealthy and dangerous place to be, and it was all in the name of Osho, the Indian guru and spiritual teacher.

You don’t know it’s a cult until you escape


people around a fireLiving as part of a cult, you don’t actually know it’s a cult until after you escape. You’re blinded by the brainwashing, the control and the orders. “We are free here,” our leader said, “free from society, and you are all so lucky to be here.”

He was insane, and we weren’t free at all. We weren’t allowed to leave, not even to go to the hospital. Yes, it was me they prevented from going to the hospital with severe gastroenteritis, while I was pregnant!

Unfortunately, there were extremely mentally unwell people there who didn’t escape, people who are still there now. However, I hope to raise awareness about this place, along with other so-called spiritual centres that both mentally stable and unstable people can fall victim to.

My name is Charmaine Selwood and this is my story.

Looking for a place to heal


meditation roomEarlier this year, I was working as an au pair in Brisbane, Australia. Things were going well until I found myself in a wild relationship filled with drinking, drugs and hotel rooms. We started to argue, and I noticed my mental health deteriorating. I needed to get away, be somewhere pure and come back to myself.

I looked for volunteer opportunities on Workaway.info and, in April, left for Osho Samaya Ashram (also known as Metanoia Gardens Commune) in the Byron Bay Hinterland.

This self-sustainable spiritual community had a tight schedule. We got up at 5.30 a.m., before sunrise, and had a jam-packed day of meditation, Yoga, ‘meditation in action’ (work) and vegan meals. In the evenings, we had Sangha. During Sangha, we danced in the candlelit Bush Sanctuary, and then sat in a circle and meditated. Swami Prem Samaya, the 80-year-old Italian guru and owner of the ashram, would then give a talk. He didn’t hang around much, and that was usually the most anyone saw of him, unless you arranged a time to see him privately. By 7 p.m., the moon-illuminated forest led us to bed.

Samaya was wise, charismatic, intelligent and moved gracefully in the shadows of Sangha. His philosophy blew me away, and through listening to him, I realized how someone could so easily become a slave to society. He made us feel like we’d escaped all that pain and suffering. The ashram would set us free.

Weird meditations


Throughout the first few days, the intensity of Osho meditations shocked me. We did Mystic Rose on my second day, which meant talking gibberish for 10 minutes, crying for 10 and then laughing for 10. I couldn’t believe people were actually doing it. How could they flick through such a range of intense emotions?

After a few days, we did Dynamic Meditation. This terrified me even more. After rapidly breathing through your nostrils for quite some time, you’d then express rage, sadness and any other deep, dark emotions you could find, letting them EXPLODE. Some people were screaming “FUCK YOU,” some people were punching pillows, some were rocking on the floor crying and some were letting their bodies have fits of pure rage! Dynamic not only scared me, but after a few attempts, it forced me to visit uncomfortable levels of sadness, terror and anger.

No time for myself


Being in a room with everyone shouting and screaming was terrifying. Everyone cried their souls out, even when we weren’t meditating, and this place provided no real aftercare. After we were forced to dig deep within ourselves during meditation, we had no real way to come safely back out. It’s as if everyone just walked around with fresh, open wounds and had no way to stitch them back up. After a week, I realized I was living with some mentally unwell people, and I was clearly one of them.

[su_pullquote align=”right”]After we were forced to dig deep within ourselves during meditation, we had no real way to come safely back out.[/su_pullquote]

Having a mental breakdown here felt like an achievement. Everyone kept telling me that I wasn’t fully letting my guard down, including Samaya. He said, “You have to give yourself fully to me. Let me inside. Love me.”

He made it very clear that he didn’t have time to let his wisdom shower down on me until I’d done so. That night at Sangha, he clearly spoke about people not making an effort with anger. I knew he was talking about me, and with every word he said, I felt it directly enter me. I felt terrible. I felt like the black sheep, the rebel, the outcast with a heavy mask.

“He’s only trying to help me,” I thought, “I need to try harder.”

Breakdown


messy room outsideMy mask was soon ripped off when I had my first mental breakdown. Afterward, I was congratulated. My mental breakdown was genuinely congratulated, followed by, “I knew you could do it, Charmaine.” I was feeling suicidal, being mentally poked and prodded, and pushed to my limits, yet I was being congratulated.

No one asked if I was OK. No one asked if anyone was OK. We were all mentally vulnerable, fragile people, and we had to wear our insanity on our sleeves, or we weren’t doing it right. After this mental collapse, I was in Samaya’s good books. I wondered why he had time for my weakness, but not for my strength. I also wondered if he liked us being weak so we’d stay at his side.

We were told to make love to each other


Samaya called us his family and said we were all brothers and sisters. However, I quickly noticed that he was contradictory, and as a person in healing under the guidance of a guru, this constantly threw me off and made me question not only my beliefs, but his too. One night, he invited us to all make love to each other. I was quickly being mesmerized by a man who felt that community living in the forest meant not washing!man playing guitar in woodsBut, I didn’t want to make love to the people I lived in harmony with, my family. I wasn’t there for lovemaking or for the love of others. I wanted to love myself, alone. I told the young man, my fellow ‘brother’, that I was going to the toilet, but I snuck off. He made love to someone else that night.

After a week of living at the ashram, I realized many people in our small community had flings and relationships with each other—including Samaya himself, with his right-hand woman Mali, who was in her mid-thirties. I found out he’d also asked one of our early-twenties females to be his lover. She politely declined.

Devoted to the ashram


“Yes, you hate yourself, Charmaine. I can tell. You have a lot of work to do here at the ashram. I propose you cancel your plans of going back to India, and stay here and live with us. I don’t see you going back to normal society,” Samaya said to me one day, as I was in tears.

“It must be true, he must be right,” I thought.

How could anyone who’d worked with Osho himself say anything that was untrue? Samaya had deep insight. Samaya told me we had to fully believe in and trust him to get the best experience possible out of living at the ashram. Yet, I found when I started believing in him, I got sicker, as well as more confused and emotional, and only took myself further away from recovery. But I relied on him more. I depended on his words of wisdom and looked to him for approval.

After one week, I decided to devote myself to the ashram and I cancelled my future plans. I cried with joy once I came to this realization—after receiving my first ever tantric massage, which was an experience in itself!white board with scheduleWith this, I posted my last message on Facebook to all my family members and friends. I stated that I was “going off grid for a while,” and wouldn’t be contactable.

I was spotted with my phone and Mali gave me a telling-off. “We don’t like people using their phones. This is the time to go inwards,” she said.

I knew phones weren’t allowed, but I had a text from my Dad asking me to call him. I instantly thought my alcoholic mother was dead, so I called him. He didn’t understand where I was, and he expressed deep, serious concern for my well-being after reading my ‘final’ message to the world.

“Dad, honestly. Don’t worry. I’m safe. And I’m the happiest I’ve ever been!” I said.

However, my Dad’s instincts were right, as always, and he knew I wasn’t safe.

The money thing


One day, we did a senses walk through the forest. We got to the sense of taste, and we were all invited to taste the Earth. Once we got to the sense of touch, we were down by the creek, and Samaya yelled, “Everyone take off your clothes and jump into the creek. Anyone who doesn’t go in will not be allowed to have dinner!”

[su_pullquote align=”right”]Samaya yelled, “Everyone take off your clothes and jump into the creek. Anyone who doesn’t go in will not be allowed to have dinner!”[/su_pullquote]

And just like that, everyone threw off their clothes and jumped into the creek. I stood next to the creek while Samaya called me in. I felt incredibly uncomfortable. But again, I felt bad that I wasn’t following orders.

After a week, I realized people were donating various amounts of money to the ashram. Since I found the ashram on Workaway, where you work in exchange for accommodation and food, I had no idea that money was involved. But it sure was! One time, Samaya questioned me: “Do you have enough money for a flight home? How did you get money to come to Australia?”

I told him I didn’t have enough money for a flight home, and that I didn’t know how I would get home one day. We didn’t talk about money again after that. I felt incredibly terrible that some people were donating a lot of money, and I wasn’t paying anything.

One morning, Mali put great emphasis on how much the ashram relies on donations. Therefore, she suggested that everyone dig just a bit deeper. I didn’t understand. Why were they on a work exchange website when they asked for money? I trusted this place, yet I started to feel disappointed.

My soul sister at the ashram was Madita. Her birth name was Kim, but while living there, she received her new Sanskrit name of Madita. We craved a trip to the outside world so we could sit in a cafe, drink coffee, talk and eat chocolate. Nevertheless, leaving the ashram was completely not in the cards. Two women were allowed to leave because they worked and they paid the most in donations, but we weren’t.

With the newfound knowledge that I wasn’t allowed to leave, combined with being convinced to stay for the foreseeable future, I started feeling like I was suffocating.

Cold showers


Samaya was incredible at what were known as ‘cold showers’. One man was planning an escape, since he told us he didn’t like being manipulated, and he was the master of his own mind. That night during Sangha, I witnessed one of Samaya’s cold showers.

“If you have finished your work here so quickly and plan to leave, than you must lead the others! You must have found inner peace!” he announced. Samaya then stood up and invited the other man to take his position at the front, as leader of the ashram.outdoor kitchenNo one looked up, and most people switched off. I spoke to Mali about this, as I was quite upset. “He does this because he loves everyone. He does this to me all the time. But, it’s just made me stronger,” she replied. When I looked into her eyes, though, I saw a lost soul instead of a strong woman. She pitied me because I didn’t understand Samaya. But I pitied her.

Nasty and controlling


I tried to talk to people about how things felt odd there. However, the only person who listened and was receptive was Madita. She agreed that things were getting a bit crazy. She loved the place, possibly more than I did, and I think seeing it for what it really was brought her sadness.

Who wouldn’t want to stay and heal with the best of intentions? But we started asking too many questions. We spoke to everyone else about how things seemed unfair: about the hierarchy, not being allowed to leave and Samaya’s cold, controlling, hate-love towards everyone.

“He has all our best intentions at heart, he loves us all,” they’d say.

I didn’t feel what he did was kind. He was nasty and controlling. He made us open up and reveal our deepest sores, and once he found them, he’d crawl inside and allow them to fester and grow. We were there in the name of Osho, but I often wondered if Osho would’ve liked Samaya being manipulative and brainwashing us!

Forced to stay


We were “free,” he said, but we didn’t feel free at all. We weren’t allowed to leave and we weren’t allowed to be alone. “Alone time is time to think,” he’d say.

However, it was being around other people constantly that made me feel worse. I wasn’t being allowed to heal in my own way: to listen to the forest, or to listen to my little voice inside. Of course, time alone means time to hear our inner voices, and mine started whispering “get out.” But I was losing touch with that inner voice as my external surroundings became overbearing.

Samaya put me to work one morning, and after three hours, he came back and was angry at my efforts. “You have done nothing! I am 80 years old and I can work faster than you can! Do you feel embarrassed? Do you feel ashamed?” he shouted at me.

“No, I don’t. I have been working. I have been working hard. But I’m feeling very sick,” I replied. He gave me the silent treatment.

At Sangha, he spoke about laziness in the community. I knew, again, that his speech was directly aimed at me. I felt awful. I thought a place like this would’ve been full of love, support and strength. I was losing all of that. I felt like a dying rose.

Sick and pregnant


I became incredibly sick and had a raging fever. I asked if I could be taken to hospital, and Mali told me to stay in bed. After a few days, I told her and Samaya again that I desperately needed to go to the hospital, so they agreed to have someone drive me.

Once I got to the hospital, outside the ashram and back in the real world, I saw the TV. The news was full of war, bombs, violence, crime and terror. It was terrifying, and I felt grateful to be in a place of peace.

I saw the doctor, who raised his eyebrows when I told him where I was living and what I was doing. He expressed deep concern for my mental and physical well-being. After all, it was only three months prior to arriving at the ashram that I was diagnosed with clinical depression and Borderline Personality Disorder. I had gastroenteritis after two weeks of poor sanitation and uncooked food, all while being pregnant.FHD0381I went back to the ashram in tears. Mali smiled and held me. “Congratulations!” she said.

Samaya then requested to see me. He discussed me falling sick, made me agree that it wasn’t from being at the ashram and told me that I was sick before I arrived.

“OK. You will stay here at the ashram. Mali and I will take care of you and the baby,” he said.

“I don’t know. I don’t know if I can go through with this,” I cried.

“OK, you will have the baby and give it to me,” he replied.

I asked Mali and Samaya if Madita could come with me to the hospital the next day for scans. They both said no, that Madita had work to do there, that we were all on our own paths, and that I had to do this alone.

“What? Why? This is messed up!”

“Some things just can’t be explained,” Mali said.

Kicked out


We slept on it, and in the morning, Madita told Mali she was coming. Mali said no again. But Madita said with more force, while gripping my hand, “No, I’m going. And you can drive us to the hospital, or we’ll walk there together.”

“Oh. So I guess you don’t want to be at the ashram anymore, then,” Mali replied in a vicious tone.

[su_pullquote align=”right”]Like that, we were ejected from the ashram. We’d gone against their demands, and had fought back against the manipulation and brainwashing.[/su_pullquote]

We were denied a ride to the hospital, so Madita and I started our five-hour walk, hoping we could hitch a ride. While we were walking away, we heard Mali shouting after us, “When you come back, you can pack your bags and you can leave.”

We were absolutely mind-blown. Samaya came running after Mali. Not looking at us, he spoke directly to Mali.

“Samaya would like you to pack your bags and to leave now, and as a courtesy, I’ll drive you to the hospital,” Mali said.

Like that, we were ejected from the ashram. We’d gone against their demands, and had fought back against the manipulation and brainwashing. We’d shown them that we could stand on our own two feet. We’d come to some heavy realizations, and in retaliation, they kicked us out in a time of need.

In the car, Madita and I held hands while Mali insulted us nonstop. We knew we’d dodged a bullet. Even though we had no money and nowhere to go, we knew we were much safer out in the world, and we had each other. I was pregnant, as well as being physically and mentally unwell, and Madita was providing me with love and support.FHD0335 2In hindsight, we were truly lucky. We were lucky things didn’t get worse, and we were lucky because we got out. After speaking to the local council to complain, they told us they had no record of people living at an ashram down in the forest. It suddenly clicked that the website showed pictures of something else entirely, and nothing showed the ashram’s existence—not the ashram that we lived at, anyway. It was well and truly off-grid.

Raising awareness


Our story has been told in order to raise awareness of Samaya Ashram and other spiritual places that can fall under the category of a cult. These places can be immensely dangerous, and even the most strong-minded person can be sucked into a place of control and manipulation, never to emerge again.

There are still people at Samaya Ashram now, people Madita and I really care about. If we can stop people from going there, and expose this place to backpackers on their journeys through the East Coast of Australia, then our experiences were well worth it.

Spiritual places aren’t meant to expose or highlight your weaknesses; make you uncomfortable; make you sick; or control, bully or manipulate you. If you start to question a particular place, listen to those inner questions and ask yourself why.

Have confidence in the way your body communicates with you. Places like this should make you feel as free as a bird, growing each day with strength, beauty, love and radiance. You should feel happy, independent, inspired and most of all, encouraged.

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[su_panel background=”#f2f2f2″ color=”#000000″ border=”0px none #ffffff” shadow=”0px 0px 0px #ffffff”]Charmaine Selwood is a freelance writer. She has worked for some awful content creation companies, plus Indian travel companies such as India Travelz. She’s had articles published in the Spanish Who Knows Magazine, as well as in the online travel magazine Story of my World, and is a regular contributor to Time to Change, the mental health organization. Charmaine is also in the rewriting phase of her memoirs about a year living in India. Learn more about her on her website

images: All images by Charmaine Selwood
  1. Thank you for sharing your story, Charmaine. It’s a shame that some of these places that are supposed to be full of the highest happiness and peace turn out to be the exact opposite.

  2. This article describes the Samara Madhouse to a T. Could have written this myself. Some things never change!

  3. I arranged to go there 2 years ago. But when I arrived for a tour and went to meet him, he told me he’d changed the entry requirements. I now had to ‘donate’ $30 per day for a full 6 months in advance, then I could move in next to his house, tend to his personal garden and do other tasks as required by him, and then – if and when he was satisfied with me – I could move up and stay in the ashram. But if at any time he decided I wasn’t ‘suitable’, I would have to leave without a refund.

    Hmm. Big investment? No security? Dependent on pleasing a raving narcissist? Needless to say, I changed my mind.

    I also couldn’t agree to never leave the ashram site – as if it were a prison – except if I ever became sick and unable to work, in which case I would have to leave for good. It sounds like that’s what happened to you.

    As for his assertion that you will give your baby to him, that takes it to a whole ‘nother level…

  4. This place has nothing to do with Osho – This man is using Osho’s name only. This was not Osho’s vision to create such a place. This man Samaya is mad and it amazes me that anyone follows him but i understand when people are vulnerable they are sucked on by such people.

  5. Telling people to donate their baby to the ashram is nothing new.. without money for the expenses a baby entails of course

  6. ITA, veet, I think the author’s suspicions that Osho himself might not like this place are correct. 😉

  7. Thanks so much for sharing this experience. It’s important to raise awareness of how somewhere with a positive spiritual mask can reveal itself as a cult.

  8. That is one scary experience! Thank you for sharing this and spreading awareness! Thank goodness you’re safe and was able to get out. Gosh, so many things to be thankful for and I hope the baby is all right.

  9. HI DEAR SORRY THAT YOU NEEDED TO HAVE THIS EXPERIENCE AND THANKYOU SHARING IT…TO HEAL AND MAKE OTHERS AWARE….I HAD BEEN TO THAT “ASHRAM” 20 YEARS AGO AND WONDERED ABOUT THIS FAKEGURU ALREADY THAT TIME…WE HAD BEEN 2 GIRLS AND RUN AWAY ALREADY THE NEXT DAY , COZ I QUESTIONED THIS GUYS MENTAL HEALTH , AS WELL FEW OF HIS “DISCIPLES” HE IS AN ABUSER IN WHITE AS SOOO MANY NOWADAYS I GOT AS WELL FEW STORIES TO TELL BEING AROUND IN INDIA SINCE 30 YEARS AND IN THE SPIRITUEL SZENE….I LOVE OSHO AND HE HELPED ME LOADS THAT TIME AND IT MAKES ME SICK HOW MANY SO CALLED GURUS LIVING OF HIM AND ABUSING HIS WORK SO LET MAKE EACH OTHERES AWARE ANOTHER FAKEGURU IS MADHUKAR….SADWISE PPLS DANT KNOW HOW REAL LOOKS LIKE AND IS COZ WE ALL BROUGHT UP IN MANIPULATED SOCIETIES FROM DEMAGED PARENTS…SO WELL MUCH WORK TO DO TO HELP TRUTH TO SHINE SOOOOOOO BRIGHT THAT IT CANT BE ABUSED NAMASTE

  10. The following letter has been sent to all the newspapers in the Byron and Lismore Shires, to all Sannyasins and Sannyas Ashrams around the world.

    My name is Prem Samaya, founder of Samaya Ashram in 1994. Over the years, we welcomed a couple of thousand people who took time out of their normal social life to engage in meditation and healing here at the ashram.

    During all those years, the majority of people left here in full gratitude (as many testimonies have proven) while there were just a few others who left unhappy, but as we know this is the nature of ashram life which provokes naturally some mental, social, and moral belief systems.

    Recently, two women have been spreading all around the world negative allegations against myself and against the nature of this ashram and I would like to take this opportunity to share my side of things.

    To begin, in an attempt to protect the ashram and our friends staying at the ashram, we have implemented two things to assist us in this manner. The first is a placing a statement on our website as to the nature of people that we are unable to welcome:

    Please note we are not a drug rehabilitation centre or a medical facility and we are unable to welcome people who are emotionally or mentally disturbed, addicted to drugs, alcohol, tobacco or suffering the comedown effects of these substances, or those who are physically unable to perform our daily duties.

    http://www.ashraminthebush.org.au/life.html

    The second thing we do is send a questionnaire to everyone who asks to visit the ashram. This questionnaire includes several questions, some of which includes information about people?s history of drugs, addiction, and mental and emotional illnesses (See Below)

    The first woman?s name is Charmaine Selwood (Chetana Mukta on facebook). She contacted the ashram around March 4, 2017 through the website, Workaway.info about a possibility to spend some time in meditation and healing herself.

    Below are the answers to Charmaine?s questionnaire. Pay special attention to the answers to questions 6, 7 and 8.

    From Charmaine
    (United Kingdom)
    Visit profile
    Thank you so much for your email, below are your answered questions.

    1.What is your age and gender?
    25 Year old female

    2. What is your home country and how well do you speak English?
    I am from England. I am half British, half Irish. English is my mother tongue

    3. What made you decide to visit Samaya Ashram and how did you hear about us?
    I just want to get away from the ?real world? for a while, and connect to my OWN REAL world. I need peace, quiet, a place to heal, think, grow. I heard about the Ashram while looking for something on Workaway

    4. Do you have any specialised skills in gardening, land maintenance or handyman
    I used to be a labourer for my father, so I have quite a few skills in all areas. So I will be able to happily work gardening, land maintenance and handyman type jobs.

    5. Do you have any special dietary requirements? Please note we follow a vegetarian diet.
    None

    6. Are you dependent on alcohol, tobacco or any illegal drugs?
    None

    7. Have you had any history of chronic fatigue, depression, mental or eating disorders?
    I used to suffer quite badly with depression and anxiety. I am no longer taking medication, and I am doing very well these days.

    8. If yes, are you treating these with medication?
    No longer.

    9. What is your attitude towards gardening, land maintenance, cleaning and other physical chores?
    I thoroughly enjoy it!

    10. Are you comfortable living with other people in a communal situation?
    More than happy, it is what I used to!

    11. What is your preferred arrival date? For how long would you like to stay initially?
    The first week of April, not sure what exact date JUST yet, but I would like to stay for 1-3 months.

    12. What is the phone number we can use to contact you?
    04????

    Please let me know if you need any additional information!

    _________________________________________________________

    As you all may notice in her answers to questions 6, 7 and 8, she failed to disclose with us about her current mental/emotional state and drug use as she admitted in the introduction of her blog how she spent her time in Brisbane just prior to her coming to the ashram.

    Upon her arrival, a few days later she started to show signs of depression and other psychological symptoms.

    I personally had two interviews with her as I usually do with all newcomers in the presence of Mali, the Ashram Coordinator at the time. During those conversations, I started to realize that she was heavily depressed, crying, and I became suspicious that she was also using illegal drugs and anti-depressant medication.

    One day almost at the end of her about 2-week stay, she announced in the morning that she was not feeling so good and not ready to engage in the service we call Meditation in Action (This is a service that everybody participates in from Monday ? Saturday for three to four hours in the morning as a work exchange and for friends who come to the ashram because they want to be in an ashram).

    Mali, the ashram coordinator at the time, invited her to go back to her place and rest for the day. Early next morning, Charmaine asked to be taken to the nearest hospital in Lismore and a woman called Anudasi, who has been living at the ashram for the last 23 years, took her immediately to the Lismore base hospital where she had been diagnosed as being pregnant. Contrary to what Charmaine stated in her blog that she had to wait a few days, this in fact is not true.

    In the afternoon when she returned from the hospital, she came to see me and Mali to give us the information that she was pregnant which, may have been the reason she was feeling unwell. I comforted her and said if she was going to take a decision to have the baby here in Australia, I would be happy to assist her in providing care to the newborn baby. I offered this because apparently the father is the same Austalian man whom she was spending time with in Brisbane doing drugs.

    During the conversation, Charmaine also informed us that she had to go back to the hospital again the next day for further check-up. Mali reassured her that she would drive her to the hospital the next morning. Then the next morning Mali came to know that Charmaine wanted to instead hitchhike to the hospital in the company of Madita, a New Zealand woman who also had just shortly arrived at the ashram.

    Mali informed Madita that it was not appropriate for her to miss her Meditation in Action in the morning, as Mali was still willing to drive Charmaine to the hospital.

    Both Charmaine and Madita became angry saying that they were going together anyway ? hitchhiking which they started to do ? walking up the hill towards the main road. At that point, Mali came to me totally in tears, saying that they didn?t care about the ashram program and saying that in anyway they wanted to leave the ashram the next day. At this point I felt that it was appropriate for me to take a decision to ask them to leave the same day. Peacefully Charmaine and Madita went to pack their belongings and then Mali drove them to the hospital in Lismore anyway.

    Reading Charmaine?s blog, it is very interesting to note how many contradictions she made which reveals the confusion of her mind. Without wanting to comment line-by-line of what she has stated in her blog, I truly affirm that all the allegations against me, the ashram and my sharing at Sangha meditation are untrue, written and motivated by anger and vindictiveness for being asked to leave.

    The second woman is Carol, at the time she was 22 ? years old. Here is our side of the story.

    Around middle of May, 2010 an Irish woman called Emma arrived at the ashram to stay with us for some time. Very soon after she informed me that she has a sister, Carol who was totally depressed, mentally confused and was recovering from a dreadful experience in her journey to America where she had been drugged and raped, apparently in Boston (information that Carol later on confirmed to me personally).

    Early June, 2010 Carol arrived at the ashram in a total depressed, confused, desperate situation, crying for days and days. Through our meditation program, slowly, slowly she started to recover, finding trust and confidence in herself. Around Sept of the same year, I appointed her as the Ashram Coordinator due to her brilliant mind and high degree of discipline and responsibility.

    Slowly, slowly I started to notice that she was developing a physical sexual attraction towards me especially after reading a book titled, The Sexual Teachings of the White Tigress: Secrets of the Female Taoist Masters.

    On one occasion during that time, she asked me if I could be ready to assist her to recover from that bad experience of rape in Boston. Also feeling attracted to her, in spite of my age of being 71 years young, I accepted the invitation to assist her to heal her sexual wound that she was carrying on. So we started our beautiful, loving, sexual relationship, which lasted until the beginning of 2014.

    During our sexually open relation, known to everyone living at the ashram including her sister and her brother, some times there were periods of very intense emotional interaction. I had assisted her, investing hours and hours of healing and counseling. We also had infinite, exquisite, loving, intimate connection revealed through the many loving letters I received from her.

    During that period, she also asked me to assist her to overcome a very intense degree of jealousy she had because she noticed that an Australian woman, who had just arrived at the ashram, was also showing signs of physical attraction towards me. To further assist Carol to go through her jealousy, with her permission I accepted the advance of this Australian woman and for some time I was lovers with both.

    Carol couldn?t digest this difficult and confronting situation. Consequently, the Australian woman decided to leave the ashram to create a peaceful situation. Since then, our relationship started to fade everyday, more and more. Carol started to go out of the ashram every Sunday morning to be part of a Satsang meditation at Osho Mevlana. During those visits, Carol started to feel attracted to an Australian sannyasin man, whom he himself was quite advanced in his age (maybe in his middle 60?s ? quite interesting indeed).

    For the next following months, Carol started to spend every weekend at his place engaging in a sexual relationship. Unfortunately, without her knowing, this man was taking trips to Bali where apparently he had a French lover saying to her instead that he was going for healing.

    When Carol finally came to know for sure the existence of this lover, who came to stay and live with him in his house, she went in a total state of despair and coming back to me seeking some emotional support, which I had given plenty.

    Around the beginning of August, 2014, Carol decided that it was time for her to leave the ashram and go back to a normal social life in the neighborhood town, Mullumbimby. I agreed with this and in giving my blessing I helped her out in offering also a quite abundant amount of cash to start her new life.

    First, she stayed as a guest of a sannyasin woman?s home and subsequently moved around in Mullumbimby in different places. During her time in Mullumbimby, Carol came a few times to visit me and the friends at the ashram, looking good and happy being able to support herself financially with different jobs here and there.

    At a certain point in late 2014 she disappeared and stopped contacting me and I haven?t seen her since.

    In 2016, I came to know that she was engaged with another Australian man who gave her the impression to be available to assist her in the Australian immigration residency. Carol and her new boyfriend eventually both went back to Ireland where she applied for a prospective marriage visa. Upon her return to Australia, the relationship between the two went very sour and at the point, the man refused to marry her. Due to his refusal, at the end of Aug 2017 she left Australia and it is my understanding that presently she is living somewhere in New Zealand.

    After all of my time with Carol, caring for her and loving her, it?s sad to me that she has turned against me and the ashram. I have only wanted the very best for her and anyone else who has visited the ashram.
    Thank all of you for giving some of your time to listen to my side of the story without expecting any favorable or unfavorable feedback.

    What is good in all of this adventure is that the Samaya Ashram is now known all over the world and Prem Samaya has become famous or infamous, as you prefer.

    Blessings to all of you!
    Prem Samaya

    1. I have a huge problem with your response.

      “On one occasion during that time, she asked me if I could be ready to assist her to recover from that bad experience of rape in Boston. Also feeling attracted to her, in spite of my age of being 71 years young, I accepted the invitation to assist her to heal her sexual wound that she was carrying on. So we started our beautiful, loving, sexual relationship, which lasted until the beginning of 2014.”

      Unless you are a qualified psychotherapist, you can cause a lot more harm which, from reading the rest of your comment, is apparently exactly what has occurred.

      If you had any sense of discretion, you would have remained silent and let your ‘followers’ speak for you. I find your response abhorrent and a horrific breach of confidentiality from someone who styles himself a leader.

      I am delighted that you have sent your response to all the various media and trust that they will read it as I do – rather than a refutation, it’s a confirmation of Charmaine’s article. I also trust that there will be an in depth investigation by the authorities.

  11. Well this is one of the people mentioned here and I can say this is all absolute psychopath RUBBISH. Brilliant Samaya wrote it here (they deactivated their Facebook page due to people commenting underneath). I have so many witnesses of Samaya screaming at me almost daily, physical violence. There was no love. The reason I never came back to the ashram again was due to a lot of screaming to myself and others. We are all in touch now.

  12. Carol – So happy to hear you are out 🙂
    I left in 2012 after a 7 month stay. Everything the women above are saying is correct. I personally watched Carol be continually abused and manipulated. I had to stop reading Samaya’s response after a couple of paragraphs (I stopped when i felt it was a complete invasion of Carol’s privacy)….. The victim blaming does not surprise me though. His comments about the space not being one for mentally ill people made me laugh… I have memories of walking the streets of lismore while looking for one of the ashram residents who had been dropped at the psych ward a few days before and we were going to collect and bring her back to the ashram. She had the funds to be able to pay alot of money to stay, so perhaps its a case of “those with mental illness are welcome as long as they are cashed up”.
    I am really able to laugh at my experience in this crazy place. Unfortunately it is not the same for many of the wonderful people I met there. Years later, I know quite a few are still really troubled from their experience.

    1. Hi there Jade,

      My name is Charmaine and I wrote the article and I am in contact with Carol, and many other men and women who knew Samaya and had awful experiences with him. Through writing this article, many people have emailed and messaged me, telling me they have all had the same experience, so we have all decided to take action.

      Would you be happy to provide us with a supporting statement saying that you witnessed the emotional, mental, and physical abuse?
      We are now a number of 13 people, who has either been emotionally, mentally, or physically abused by Samaya, OR, seen this abuse happen to someone else. These are people that voluntary stepped forward. While 13 already seems like a lot of people, I just want the police and council to see just how many people have come together for this.

      We have an overwhelming amount of people coming forward after reading this article, but once physical abuse was mentioned, we decided to take serious action.

      Samaya, if you are reading this, you may be able to pin the blame on others, and you may have money, and land. But we have numbers, and I am absolutely disgusted in you and the ashram. Bribing young girls to go to bed with you, manipulating fragile women, beating women, taking peoples money to the point where they have nothing left to do but stay there with you. You should be absolutely ashamed of yourself. And, you can sit down behind your computer and write about myself and Carol, but if I were you, I’d be more worried about all the other men and women. You can’t speak for them, and you can’t speak for us.

      So good luck trying.

  13. After reading all the above comments it looks like that all these people who went to ashram were not mentally stable and needed a proper treatment rather than meditation.
    To me they are young people with no idea or any proper guidance from parents or someone mature enough.
    There are thousands of people who admires this ashram and loved to live with nature . My understanding of this ashram is the place where you take a break from day to day hectic life and get connected to the nature.
    This is not a place to cure drug affected or mentally unstable people.
    These people should appreciate what this Ashram have given them rather than blaming people of this well known ashram. Please read comments and testimonial of happy people who have experienced this ashram.
    Problem is people expect too much for nothing.
    It’s clearly mentioned in a form sent to people before they arrive that this is not a place for drugs affected or mentally unstable people.
    Ashram should stop admitting people unless they can provide a history from a doctor in regards to their past or present drug addiction and mental health issues.
    Thanks

  14. Sonny- I have personally written most of the website myself and put the testimonials there. I am in touch with a lot of the people in the testimonials and the updated reality is not so pretty. In my experience of helping people who have escaped from the ashram over around the last 6 years (yes escaped in the night because they were told they were not allowed leave)- most people (including myself) arrive thinking it is a wwoofing place and have no idea of the level of personal interference and abuse until after they arrive. Some people have the type of personality where they can ignore screaming, people’s money getting taken off them etc and can live in the ashram in a sort of detached way of enjoying the beautiful nature etc. That doesn’t mean that the other evil aspects don’t exist and that the people who have the balls to speak the truth are “mentally ill”.

  15. Wow this is insane. Sonny?s reply more or less reads like that Samaya guy wrote it lol.

    Thanks for your bravery in sharing, I pray that you find the healing you seek!

  16. Thanks for taking the time to put your story out there. I knew it would only be a matter of time before someone spoke up about Roberto’s (Samayas, yes his real name is Roberto lol) scams and psychologicallly abusive nature. Anyone who has had any experience at Samaya “Ashram” and were being intellectually honest would agree. His “devotees” are some of the most broken, psychologically destroyed people I’ve ever met. Which he takes advantage of. Quite sad really I feel sorry for them, but not for this scum. If any of them ever left and turned against him, he would simply make some slanderous argument about their drug or mental issues, which he himself knows about and is taking advantage of as you can see in his above comment. And also the following comment by himself under the name “Sonny”. Hope the pathetic old kretin gets what he deserves.

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