Two pelicans sitting next to each other with heads turned away

A LOVE LETTER: Dear Friend, I must leave you.

Last updated: April 5th, 2019

My dear friend,

We’ve been friends for over three decades. It feels like an entire lifetime. The time has gone by so quickly.

We’ve laughed until tears marked our cheeks. You’ve seen me cry. You knew my circumstances. Saw my fears. Knew my secrets. And I knew yours. We got one another through tough times in our lives.

We celebrated together, survived break-ups, school and even knew one another’s extended families intimately. We have volumes and volumes of photo albums to show for it.

And, it is time my dear friend. I must leave you.

I never imagined we would drift apart, that our lives would take us in the directions it has, that you wouldn’t be the one I’d call first.

We have outgrown one another. I don’t imagine we expected life to change our friendship. It has. We no longer have anything in common to hold us whole.

Acknowledging this relationship no longer is, is painful.

This does not mean I no longer love you, for that will never change, or indicate that our friendship was meaningless and is not worth holding on to.

We have grown up, evolved into who we are, clearer in our values, purpose and choices. New friends have come… entered to fill the space for what is currently present in our lives.

I do not know where our lives will take us from this moment on. As our children grow and move on, know that I will be reminded through them, the memories we were blessed to share. As our parents age and pass, know that you will feel my strength, holding you, grieving alongside you.

With that, I have a request my dear friend.

What I ask for is a conscious uncoupling of sorts. That we both mindfully and intentionally continue to hold love for one another until that time when we may once again be together as the girls we once were—in another life. I ask that awkwardness not replace silence, should our paths once again cross in this lifetime. That we may not feel regret, anger or sadness that we are apart, but grateful for experiencing a friendship like ours. I ask that you forgive me that nostalgia isn’t powerful enough for me to stay with you—for what brought us together was in a different time and place.

You’ve asked me where our relationship is going. I will now ask you to love me still as I bring closure to this chapter for us both.

And know that I will always love you.

[su_panel background=”#f2f2f2″ color=”#000000″ border=”0px none #ffffff” shadow=”0px 0px 0px #ffffff”]Sophie Turner is a professional coach, mentor, facilitator, social entrepreneur and creator of the Marquee Profile and founder of The Conversation Project, inspiring action for conscious living.

image: birds resembling two friend who are breaking apart via Shutterstock
  1. I find the idea of breaking up with a friend of 3 decades quite weird. I have had friendships that naturally ended – usually because we were in different places and the connection wasn’t strong enough to make the effort. But this conscious ending. How much love was there, if it can end like this? It just seems odd and wasteful. ‘We?ve laughed until tears marked our cheeks. You?ve seen me cry. You knew my circumstances. Saw my fears. Knew my secrets. And I knew yours. We got one another through tough times in our lives.’ how precious such a long-term intimate friendship is. How can everything have evaporated?

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