Last updated: March 26th, 2019
We call this the holiday season. Family, food, fun and train wrecks, all rolled into one span of days, Thanksgiving through New Year. Memories roll like thunder through our minds and emotions—some sweet and some recurring nightmares. Why we always go there is one of life’s great mysteries. I’m from a Big Ol’ Southern family and our home scene at holiday times was Cat-on-A-Hot- Tin-Roof-on-steroids. Looking back, it was funny, crazy, tragic and real all at once—I no longer have an emotional charge around any of that stuff. I’ve cleaned and cleared my life for many years and I’m at peace with it all. Life goes on and so do we, peacefully, if we have done the work to let go and live for today’s real-time moments. I’m fortunate to be where I am today and grateful—very, very grateful—to be living life with my eyes, heart, mind and spirit wide open to the here and now. That’s my gift to myself and a reminder that the holidays have not always been the peace and freedom I know today. Over the years I’ve picked up a few valuable tips on keeping the holiday cheer clean, clear and happy! Be mindful about the food and drink of the season – This applies to life everyday, but it’s even more relevant when we’re in the eat-like-we’re-still-kids-stuffing-our-faces mode for the holidays. Sugar is toxic, poison to our cells. It feeds all the autoimmune diseases, is a disaster for blood sugar levels, contributes to mood swings and takes us from high-and-happy to crashing-and-burning rapidly. We also need to be mindful of carbs, as they’re immediately transformed into sugars during digestion and head straight to the bloodstream. Eating fresh foods, veggies, salads, whole grains and reasonable portions of meat keeps the body and blood sugar in balance. Unlike many other challenges of the season that aren’t necessarily within our control, eating is one we do control. Moderation also prevents that terrible emotional guilt from overeating that can also contribute to depression or hypersensitivity. Change your holiday history – Changing patterns allows us to live in the moment, rather than living in a rut of old stories—the ones in which you fool yourself, such as “It’s going to be better this time around.” If you tend to sit and watch football games, get up and out of the house, take some long walks, see the world on foot. If you like to sleep late, get up early instead, catch a sunrise and say some prayers for those who are no longer with you and to life itself for that beautiful morning. When you catch yourself getting triggered, stop! It is that simple. STOP. No need to explain. Just say, “I’m not going there,” change the subject or let there even be some stillness. You don’t need to engage. Break your pattern. Make an altar to your life, to the Now of your life—not the past – The holidays are a time to enjoy decorating the house, so build a special altar to your faith—whatever that form takes—to your family and friends, and to your personal journey through life. This could be placed on a side table or on a dresser. It commemorates your corner to connect, breathe and acknowledge how far you’ve come through the years. This marks who and where you are now in your life! Consider lighting a seven-day candle to keep the flame of gratitude burning and to honour your living journey. Make a song mix for the season – Choose songs that are relevant to the past, present and future of the soun track of your life. This is an easy and creative effort that can get a lot of play. Plug in the songs of the year that mark the good times, the transitions and accomplishments. Music is a big part of life, so why not create your own personal holiday mix. End it with something joyous, something that stirs your positive uplifting emotions. Have a go-to friend – Choose one—or better yet, two—people with whom you can pledge to have each other’s back for the holidays. If any one of you gets into a bad spot or in too deep with an emotional crisis, you have a bond to be there for each other. This is very important. It brings us close to the ones with whom we are in it for the long haul, and insures ahead of time that we won’t get stuck in a bad situation with no one to call. Consider getting together regularly for coffee or a meal so you can relate the challenges of the day and the blessings that are unfolding. Keep it here-and-now, and keep it honest-and-sincere, heart to heart. The past has a way of haunting us over the holidays and that is a choice. It’s one we can change to our benefit. By staying with the present, with life today, we experience the beauty and grace of the opportunities to be connected together, moving forward as a band of friends and even family. In the now, we own this minute only and save ourselves from getting lost in that old-time-feeling minefield. Do not isolate – This is the most important tip. Being alone with yourself by choice is good, but isolating out of sadness, anger or fear—any of those old emotions that erupt over the holidays—is exactly the opposite. Don’t let those emotions own you. Our feelings are solely our responsibility. So take action to keep the energy moving and your attention on today, the present, where you can change what needs to be changed and choose where to put your attention. We create our lives based on where we place our attention. It serves us well when we take 100 percent responsibility for where and what we do with that attention. Follow these tips and you’ll never again derail in one of those emotional holiday family train wrecks. You’ll keep your peace, calm, sobriety and enjoyment regardless of what is happening around you. For more tips on how to cope with the holidays read TAKE TIME OUT: 10 simple stress relieving activities for the holiday season>>
[su_panel background=”#f2f2f2″ color=”#000000″ border=”0px none #ffffff” shadow=”0px 0px 0px #ffffff”]Lee McCormick is the co-author of Dreaming Heaven: The Beginning is Near (Hay House). Lee is the founder of The Integrative Life Center in Nashville, The Ranch Recovery Center in Tennessee, and The Canyon Treatment Center in Malibu, California and has been a creative force in the Mental Health and Recovery scene for more than 15 years. To discover a pathway to end to suffering and find the new beginning, go to www.dreamingheaven.net or www.spiritrecovery.com.
This article was excerpted from Dreaming Heaven: Theeginning is Near. © 2013 Hay House. Buy the DVD>>
image: David Niblack
