Hi Kiva:

Here is my first draft of a semi-informational semi-call to action article on the 350.org day of action. Once it's been tweaked do you think we can put it on the website? I can provide text for links to create background and depth for the event and for all the other stuff that's happening around it. (There's quite a bit planned already, including a peaceful rally outside parliament in Ottawa on 24/10).

I've included in the article the action I wanted to raise interest on here in Toronto and within the online community--cycling or taking transit for 350 days out of 365, as of 24/10. My 350.org contact Joanna loved this and said that she'd take up the challenge and spread the word about it as much as she could too. We could have our facebook site and website as central communication point for this action.

BTW I'm copying this mail to the engaged spirituality page of the forum and also to Andrew.

Joanna

Hi Joanna

Great work! You give some reason why to take action, you accurately explain what the action is about and give some background on the organization.

Comments:

First and second paragraph can be shortened and combined. Just give enough reason to want to act then make a simple statement about the environment being threatened. People already know it, so very short is good.

Combine paragraphs three and four. Just introduce Bill and what he's doing.

Shorten the rest of the call to action. I'd give less background, because if people want more info they can always go to the 350.org website to read more (provide link at bottom of page).

I'd get more direct about your call to action. You can let them discover the other campaigns by writing in their link at the bottom: "For more information and to view other campaigns visit www.350.org." But if you're trying to create a campaign I'd word the pitch in the final paragraph something like: "Join our campaign to take public transit 350 days..." and just leave it at that. That way they know what to do in very clear terms.

Check out www.avaaz.org and read http://www.netaction.org/training/part2a.html for ideas regarding online activist campaigns and how to write for them.