The day after I was born, a surgeon used a tiny pair of surgical scissors to save my life for the first of many times. By the time I was three years old, I’d spent 250 days in the hospital.
During my first 16 years on earth, I endured 16 major surgeries, two of which were to correct a tethered spinal cord that might have caused permanent paralysis. Surgeons deconstructed and reconstructed my abdomen; 18 inches (about 46 centimetres) of my colon were removed. Surgeons have cut me from the top of my chest to below my waistline.
As painful as some of those surgeries and recoveries were for me, nothing was as emotionally draining and frustrating as trying to learn to read and write. On top of that, because of my short-term memory loss, learning was even more difficult for me. So much so that when I was in the fifth grade, my parents were called to a meeting in which a psychologist told them I’d be illiterate for the rest of my life. A few months later, an administrator told me I could no longer go to school there.
Yes, a door was slammed in my face. But my parents refused to keep it closed. Over the next seven years, I’d learn that God wants to open doors for us. We only have to let go and allow Him to have His way. We must not only pray for God to open doors for us, we must also pray for Him to close doors in our lives that need to be shut. In the following pages, you’ll read about the many doors that He has opened for others and me.
My parents’ faith allowed me to endure my early struggles. They taught me that circumstances in life can make you bitter or better, and I’ve always been a glass-half-full kind of guy. Over time, I became stronger in my faith in God, which made me more confident and self-assured. I knew God had a plan for my life. As I’ve told my Dad so many times, there are no bad days, only hard days.
Difficult and trying times mold us into who we are, and it’s up to each of us to decide whether those lessons are good or bad. Here are seven core values to help you grow stronger, and work towards no more bad days, just hard ones:
Find your tribe
I learned at an early age that it’s critical to surround yourself with people who push you, give you courage and have your back. God didn’t design humans to be lone wolves. That’s why there were two people in the Garden of Eden. It’s important to understand that we need other people in our lives to engage us, encourage us and love us.
Every single day, you should be finding your tribe. You can’t do life alone.
Learn and don’t stop
It’s amazing what I’ve been forced to learn over the first quarter-century of my life. I’ve learned about parts of my body I didn’t even know existed. I’ve learned about how my brain operates and processes information. I’m learning new skills and techniques each day, and I’ve learned that I must continually seek new ways to improve myself and live my life to the fullest. Most importantly, I’m always learning more and more about my relationship with God.
Listen to others
How many times in our lives have we thought to ourselves: If I’d only listened…? If only we’d listened to a friend who needed help, we might’ve helped protect that friend from harm. If only we’d written down the entire grocery list, we wouldn’t have had to go back to the store again. If only we’d listened to directions, we would’ve found our destination the first time instead of driving in circles for hours.
Speak in such a way that others will want to listen to you, and listen in such a way that others will want to talk to you. Listening is an attitude, so if you have a bad attitude, chances are, you won’t listen.
Take off your mask
Given what we’ve endured over the many long months of the Coronavirus pandemic, you might think I’m talking about the blue surgical masks or fancier cloth face coverings we’ve been forced to wear everywhere. No, I’m talking about another kind of mask—the one that is preventing you from being the authentic and original person God wants you to be.
Being authentic and original isn’t easy. Trust me, I know how uncomfortable and scary it is to stick to your faith, morals and values in the face of peer pressure and societal changes. Ask yourself what you truly believe, what your parents might’ve taught you to believe and what God wants you to believe. Look in the mirror and evaluate whether you’re truly happy with the person you’ve become. When you’re not authentic, the only person you’re fooling is yourself.
Stretch yourself
Later on, you’ll read about the most challenging physical ailment I had to deal with—twice—while growing up. It is called a tethered spine. When the spinal cord is pulled down and becomes fixed to the spinal canal, it creates a very serious condition.
In life, we have to learn to stretch ourselves, even if that means we open ourselves up to the possibility of failure. We must learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. Once we realize it’s OK to colour outside the lines, we’ll stretch ourselves to try new things, meet new people, acquire new tastes and truly explore the world and all of God’s creations.
Pull off the label
When I was a kid, one of the things I despised most was when others—some of whom didn’t even know me—placed a label on me. They threw around labels that could be hurtful, especially for a young man who was struggling with his health and learning differences. You know the words I’m talking about: dumb, different, slow, stupid or worse. Our society loves to label people, whether it’s describing physical appearances, political leanings, personalities, sexual orientation or just about anything else.
We must remember that people are human beings and not things. It’s OK to label items in a grocery store or to put warning labels on things that might harm us, but labels should never be used to describe people.
Tell your story
The next time you find yourself on a busy street or in a crowded room (and hopefully, that’s sometime soon), look at the people surrounding you. Each one of them has a story, and there’s a reason they are the way they are. Every one of us has gone through something that impacted us, whether it was good or bad. Each of our stories is unique, genuine and real, and every one of them needs to be told.
I had a story to tell, and it’s why I’m telling it now. If my parents hadn’t spoken up for me when I was a child, I would’ve never learned to read or write. If I hadn’t shared my story with teachers and professors when I was older, I would’ve never completed high school and college.
A common thread through each value
The common thread that runs through each of these core values I discussed is kindness. I fear it’s become a forgotten trait among us humans. If I had the power, I’d buy and send an ounce of kindness to every person on Earth. We could use a lot more kindness around the world. Scientific studies have shown that being kind makes us feel better about ourselves and more satisfied with our own lives.
It’s not difficult to be kind. Carry someone’s groceries. Open a door for a stranger. Compliment a colleague’s hard work. Encourage a friend who might be struggling. Pay for a stranger’s coffee or lunch. Tutor a young person who needs help. Send a long-lost friend a card, email or flowers. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter. Thank a police officer or emergency responder.
See? Being kind isn’t too hard. It only takes a little initiative and effort. So be kind out there. We need it now more than ever. I hope my story inspires you to tell your own—I’d love to hear it.
JT Jester is a young entrepreneur, philanthropist, podcaster and inspirational speaker based in Grosse Pointe, Michigan. A graduate of High Point University in North Carolina, JT is also an experienced mountaineer, extreme skier, boater, hunter and adventurer who has made it his life mission to encourage people to untether from natural or self-imposed limitations and live full, passionate lives. Born with life-threatening VATER/VACTERL syndrome, as well as extreme dyslexia and short-term memory loss, he established the JT Mestdagh Foundation to bring encouragement, joy and laughter to people with physical and learning disabilities and their families. JT hopes that through sharing his life experiences and other people’s stories, people will be reminded there truly are no bad days and to never give up.
His new book, No Bad Days: How to Find Joy in Any Circumstance, is now available.
Excerpted from the book No Bad Days: How to Find Joy in Any Circumstance. Copyright ©2022 by JT Jester. Printed with permission from Forefront Books—www.forefrontbooks.com.
images: Depositphotos
