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BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD: How to master the art of expression

Last updated: November 1st, 2018

The first and most profound of Don Miguel’s “Four Agreements” is “Be Impeccable with Your Word.” While this seems fairly straightforward, it takes on many subtle and profound aspects as you begin to practice. Very simply, to be impeccable with your Word is to use your Word in the direction of love and truth. It’s not as simple as it sounds.

How we apply this agreement in practice can be complicated. For instance, suppose we have a good friend and we’re friends with their spouse as well. We’ve found out that the spouse is cheating on our friend. It’s in the direction of truth to tell our friend that their partner is cheating on them. On the other hand delivering the message and facts is not very kind and loving and will hurt their feelings. It also might not be considered very respectful to inject our nose into the business of other people’s relationship. In these critical situations being impeccable with your word can appear to go either way.

It’s also possible that a person can bend the meaning of “being impeccable” in order to fit their agenda.

I won’t try to split hairs and explain how to apply the principle of Be Impeccable with Your Word to every situation as different situations have their own nuances that can’t simply be addressed in one article.

What does it mean to Be Impeccable with your Word?

I want to point out something that’s often overlooked. The expression of your Word is much more than just the expression of your words.

Your word (small case) has to do with the things you say. Words make up sentences, phrases that you speak and write. They come out as opinions, comments, thoughts in your head, or could become a policy in some situations. On the other hand your Word is much more.

Your Word (upper case) has to do with your power to create through your every expression. You create through different types of expressions, including emotions, attitude, actions, what you refrain from, and what you express your faith in.

You can create how you feel emotionally by generating emotions, and then you feel them. You can create dynamics of respect in relationship by being silent and listening attentively. You can create a different experience for yourself and others by refraining from an emotional reaction. You create an income for yourself by how well you express caring in the activity of your work. You create a different self image of yourself by putting the power of your faith in a thought you have about yourself. This can happen in a very subtle, almost passive way of just accepting what you think about yourself as true.

You express in a multitude of ways throughout the day and being impeccable with your Word applies to all of them.

Silence can be impeccable

Silence is an expression. And sometimes silence says a lot more than words. Your actions are part of how you create. To hit someone doesn’t fall into the category of expressing yourself in the direction of love and truth. To greet someone with a kiss on the cheek is an expression that says more than a thousand words.

Your fears go against your Self

Living with fears doesn’t fall into the category of being impeccable. Maintaining fears of public speaking, asking someone out on a date, or a fear of failing is not in the direction of love for yourself. Remaining in fear is an ongoing expression in your own mind that prevents you from loving for yourself and others. Fear is at the heart of NOT being impeccable.

To Be Impeccable with Your Word is not as simple as it sounds. When you explore the meaning of this agreement your understanding will expand. You’ll begin to pay attention to the smaller moments of the day. Thoughts that used to go unnoticed or passing comments that seemed to be no big deal before become significant. As you become aware of life’s many subtle expressions this agreement becomes more challenging than originally thought.

Mastering the art of being impeccable requires that you heighten your awareness not just of the words you say, but also the emotions you express, your attitude, your actions, and where you express the power of your belief. You will need to develop a discipline of mindfulness to be impeccable in these expressions throughout the day.

A lifelong practice

To Be Impeccable with Your Word is an art requiring constant vigilance. It’s not something that you decide to do one day and master by the end of the week. The mastery of any art, like music, painting, or sculpture, requires practice. Mastering how you express your emotions, actions, thoughts and beliefs will take practice just like any other art. In the beginning it will be challenging to just learn the basic skills.

A beginner painter will likely throw out his first drawing. He will also throw out many other early works. Those efforts, however, are not wasted. As he pays attention to the details of his brush strokes he learns skills with every attempt. It takes time to master the various skills of mixing colours, brush strokes, choosing themes, and mastering light and shadows. With each painting he finishes, whether he keeps it or throws it away, he has improved himself as an artist.

You too will let go of what you created in your life years ago, and work on bigger and better creations as you develop. Each day is an opportunity to create a new piece of art with your life. Last year’s art is already far behind you. Learn, grow and develop your skills through your creations, but don’t let them define you as an artist.

When you apply the practice of doing your best to be impeccable you discover that it has incredible rewards. To express yourself in the direction of truth and love allows you to create your life as a masterpiece of beauty.

Being Impeccable with Your Word will take many moments of practice. You’ll likely dismiss many of your attempts as being clumsy and not what you intended. And that’s OK. For with each action and attempt, you improve as the artist of your life.

Be careful not to believe the judgments that are likely to come from that inner judge of yours. Make a commitment to do your best every day and it will help you avoid self-judgments as you practice and improve. Remember that in the midst of all these expressions the real art you are working on is yourself and you’re worth it.

[su_panel background=”#f2f2f2″ color=”#000000″ border=”0px none #ffffff” shadow=”0px 0px 0px #ffffff”]Gary van Warmerdam has studied with Don Miguel Ruiz since 1994. He co-developed and taught the Four Agreements Facilitators training at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY and the Crossings in Austin, Texas. You can contact Gary at gary@pathwaytohappiness.com or visit his website http://www.pathwaytohappiness.com.

image: David Niblack, Imagebase.net